Conversation With A Toddler

Max and DodgeThese days there is no easing into the work day like before…no…it always begins with one child waking you up and it is astounding how fast the house goes from the calm sanctity of rest to outright childhood bedlam in a matter of seconds!  Waking up early is never fun but if I have to its nice when Max wakes me up because he wants to kiss me good morning on the cheek…often he just stands by the bed awkwardly breathing his overnight breath onto me till I get that creepy “I’m being watched” feeling.  I open my eyes and there he is…standing inches from my face with Edward Scissor Hands bed-head hair, clinging to a stuffed bunny, and breathing heavily like Kyle’s cousin Kyle 1 on Southpark.  This is my alarm clock.

The other day I was hustling and bustling around upstairs as I got ready to go to work as Max terrorized the cat downstairs.  I have no idea what he was doing but I could hear the cat howling and then scamper through the cat door to the basement as Max fiendishly called out, “Come back Luna…come back!”  Pretty sure he jumped on her…can’t figure out why she hides from him.  So I’m brushing my teeth and sliding on my loafers when Max runs to the bottom of the stairs and calls up to me.  this was our conversation verbatim:

Max:  “Dada?”

Me:  “Yeah?”

Max:  “Dadaaaaa?

Me:  “Yes Maxwell?”

Max:  (Sheepishly)  “Anything?”

Me:  (Confused)  “Anything?”

Max:  (Earnestly)  “Anything?”

Me:  “Sure…anything.”

Max stands at the bottom of the stairs pondering this while staring up at me as I brush my teeth.  It dawns on him!

Max:  “Dog food!”

Me:  (Confused)  “Dog food?”

Max:  “Yeah!  Dog food!!!”

Me:  “Okay.  Dog food.”

Max:  “Dog food is YUCKY!!!”

Then Max ran away laughing hysterically and I was left trying to understand the brain of a two-year-old.  He really did mean “anything” when he called up to me.  What an odd question.  “Anything?”  Goes to show you that possibilities are endless when you are a kid.

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