This is the 36th week of pregnancy for our second son and the calm before the storm. This Saturday our first son, Max, turns two which we’ll celebrate (per his request) by eating cake and going to see the Wichita State Shockers play basketball. He is very excited…for the game…he doesn’t understand the whole birthday thing. The day after Max’s second birthday we will enter the 37th week of pregnancy, i.e. “full term.” Last week our baby (nicknamed “Zag”) nestled head down into Kate’s pelvic bone, using her bladder as a pillow, and her intestines as kickboxing practice. Zag seems to be a wild one unlike Max, who was content to chill in utero, this one seems to be ready to come out swinging. His kicks are intense and I can feel him rolling around all night as I cuddle my wife Kate. Hiccups are a regular occurrence which means he is getting his lungs ready to breathe. He’s somewhere around 6 lbs right now and it looks like Kate is carrying a low balloon around under her shirt…a 6 lb balloon…that kicks.
Undeniably I am nervous. We both are. It was pretty crazy bringing Max into the world…what will it be like having two? I don’t even presume to think I understand what it will take. How will I perform under the pressure with my anxiety…which has been quietly at bay for the past two weeks? Adding to the fun are my parents, who live here in town, and have scheduled an eight-day vacation with my sister and her son to Disney World the week of our due date! Kate’s parents live eight hours away so if Kate goes into labor while my parents are in Florida we have a very limited team of people who can take Max. Meaning? I may find myself in a position where I’m juggling taking care of a two-year-old and helping my wife give birth at the same time. THIS is why we have our doula, Molly. I highly recommend having a doula if you are having a baby and if you are having a baby in Wichita, Molly is the best!
I remember this from last time…it feels weird sitting around doing nothing when there could be a baby at any moment. However, the best thing to do is focus on what is happening right now and the time will come. My gut tells me that this will be a late February baby which would give us a month of percolating, more time to prepare, and allow for my folks to be in town. Since that is what I’m hoping for…it would seem only appropriate if the baby came mid-week while I’m on deadline for a project and my parents are out of town. Ahhhh life.
Kate showed me all the pictures she has been looking at this week of Max and me after the birth. They are her mental images she is trying to hold on to so during the birth when it all seems crazy we can remember there is this euphoric calm after to look forward to. The first time we held Max. Max sleeping on our chests. Max holding onto our fingers. Max breathing softly. Max…baby Max.
I have only one picture of Zag from his first sonogram and I can’t wait to meet him. I like feeling him kick and I plan to sing to him just like I did with Max to hopefully calm him down and assure him that Daddy is near. I have this dream of having both my boys in my arms as I rock back and forth in the rocking chair while singing “Blue Shadows On The Trail.” My two boys, my two beautiful boys. I’m holding on to that image in my head; that soon I will have them in my arms where I can hold them, kiss them, and be surrounded by my family. I am still nervous…but it is a nervous excitement!