My Toddler Knows “No’s” and “Nose”

In the ongoing attempt to make my child the smartest and cutest kid on the face of the planet, my wife and I have been working on many developmental skills such as speech from a very early age.  We taught him baby sign language when he was first born so he could communicate with us and we could cut down his frustration, now he learns a few new words per day!  While he’s not quite ready to invent time travel or discuss the meaning of life he can easily tell you where his nose is…and say “nose” at the same time.  That’s like patting your head and saying “Patting my head” at the same time…wait…or are you supposed to be rubbing your belly?  Whatever…the kid is 15 months.  He’s doing good.  His go to words include:

  • Nose
  • Ear
  • Eyes
  • Mouth
  • Teeth
  • Toes
  • Feet
  • Shoes
  • Socks
  • Shirt
  • Eat
  • More
  • Up
  • Down
  • Please
  • Hi
  • Eggs
  • Yogurt
  • Fish
  • Cracker
  • Cheese
  • Juice
  • Milk
  • Cat
  • Momma
  • Dada
  • Papa
  • Gigi (Grandma)
  • A-Choo!
  • Basketball
  • Baseball
  • Shoot
  • Score
  • Goal
  • Wu (WSU Mascot)
  • Shocker (WSU)
  • Chiefs
  • Stairs
  • Sit (He adds an “sh” so it sounds a little different)
  • Poo-poo
  • Pee-pee
  • Potty
  • Night, night
  • Bye, bye
  • Hi
  • Thank you

…and a bunch more.  Wow.  I think we are past the point where I can list out the things he says/knows.  There is one word not on that list…for it is his favorite word of all time…even more than “Basketball.”  What is it?  “No.”  I am so sick of hearing the word “No.”  Mainly because he doesn’t just say it, he says it with this annoying tone while shaking his head and pushing away whatever he is saying “no” to.

ME:  Max you want some steak?

MAX:  No!

ME:  Okay…you want some juice?

MAX:  No!

ME:  Would you like some…


Little bastard.  Adorable little bastard, but little bastard nonetheless.  I’ve taught him to shoot a basketball, safely go up and down stairs, clap his hands, and he is learning to use a potty…but we can’t say “No thank you.”  He can say “Thank you,” and he can say “No,” but “No thank you” is beyond his comprehension.  He’s a two syllable only kid.  Anything more than two syllables and it is quantum physics for him…he just stares at you…then points to his nose and says “nose” like he’s Jimmy Durante or something.  “The nose knows, it always knows!”  The only happiness I have right now in teaching him words is the potty, because what do you do with a potty?  You sit.  And how does my son say “sit?”  He adds an “sh” to it.

ME:  Max, do you need to sit on the potty?

MAX:  Shit.

ME:  Okay, let’s sit on the potty.  What are you doing?

MAX:  Shitting.

ME:  That’s right buddy.  You’re going poo-poo?

MAX:  No!

We’ve still got to work on that one…but we’re making progress.

2 thoughts on “My Toddler Knows “No’s” and “Nose”

  1. Thanks Ryan, this made me really laugh. At least you get one “no”. at 13 months I get “no, no, no, no, no, NO!” with a serious head twist. You know, just in case we did not hear it the first 4 times! thanks again for your great posts about being a parent.

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