The Perfect Life

Max and Luna

Its been a hectic few weeks and I’m still amidst the insanity!  Grand openings of stores, broken toes, constructi0n at Heroes, planning parties, family trips, and more!  Last week I was in Rochester, NY for 6 days…the longest I have ever been away from Max and it was heart breaking.  He turned 3 months old while I was gone and when I returned it was amazing how much he had grown.  He has discovered his feet and they are fascinating to him!  He reaches and grabs for everything.  Kate and I have tiny scratches from his tiny nails which must be clipped almost daily it seems to keep them from becoming death-talons.  Everything he grabs goes directly into his mouth; his sleeve, the rattle, his feet, the cat…  He pulled a chunk of fur out of the cat last night while she was napping…that relationship is off to a seriously rocky start!  the other night I was sitting in the rocking chair with him and he spit out his binky, so I placed it in my breast pocket of my dress shirt.  He stared at the pocket and you could see his brain working to understand object permanence…where did my binky go?  He then reached into the pocket, retrieved the binky, and placed it back into his mouth!  This is a 3 month old!  I was astonished!  He understood the concept that his binky had not disappeared, it was out of his sight in the pocket and still existed in the world.  This made me feel better about being at work all day…my son understands I still exist.

Rocky Relationship

I’m spending more and more time with him and building play time into my mornings.  It is hard…you gotta play on his schedule and his rules.  Play time consists of tummy time, laying on the floor with him, singing, holding him up so he feels like he is standing, Superman flying, and fart sounds.  Play time usually ends with fart sounds that give way to sharts, hunger cries, or grunts of frustration that have no explanation.  He is still going through a growth spurt so sleep is a luxury…we sleep in 1-2 hours chunks.  Kate is a zombie.  I woke up the other night to find her sitting upright in bed, feeding Max, and she was dead asleep.  When she woke up she had no recollection of putting him on the breast.  Must be strange…wake up and find your son cuddled up in your arms gulping away at your breast.  Huh?   Whaaa…?  How did you get here?

For the second time in 3 months Max fell asleep from my rocking and singing to him instead of a bottle or boob.  He loves staring at me while I sing, his little eyes get heavy, and then he gives up to the power of snooze.  Last night he slept for 4 hours straight…something he hasn’t done since before the NYC trip!

Kate and I have hit a good rhythm as parents and today is her last day teaching her current class.  She has started doing yoga again, the weather is nice enough for me to ride my bike to work, and we are working together to keep the house clean and organized.  I brought the thunder last night when I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the family room, and remade the bed before Kate got home from yoga.  It’s amazing how a little housework can brighten someone’s day!  I don’t want Kate feeling like she is alone in maintaining the house.  I don’t want us settling into roles of sole responsibility…that is the foundation for ruts in a marriage.  Just because I’m off at the office all day doesn’t mean I get to come home and plunk down on the couch and be done – I’m done with work for the day but my family time has just begun!  That is exciting!  You have to remind yourself of that every now and then or you’ll be in danger of being a neglectful spouse.  Don’t want that.  Kate is my best friend.

I had this random thought about her this past week in Rochester.  Max is my son.  I love him.  Of course I love him…he’s a part of me!  It is a love that is so strong and hard to explain.  It is love personified.  My love for Kate is even stranger because there is no bond of blood to her.  I choose to love her (to some extent).  My love for her is as massive as my love for Max but it is on a different plane…it is…consenting?  Maybe that isn’t the right word, but it is two people choosing a life together and bonded by a love that grows.  It is unbelievably powerful and she has changed my view on everything, as has my son.  My life gets better every day because of them.  I love them more by the second.  My life is perfect.  My job may have flaws, I may have desires to travel to exotic places, and there will always be the material things I yen for…but my wife and son are my life.  They make my life perfect.  It’s a good feeling.  Everything is right in my world.

Maxwell is Max Swell
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