It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye

This morning I woke up to the sound of Max crying.  This is nothing new but today it seemed strange…it really got me out of bed in a funny mood.  Max was hungry and had recently filled his diaper, which had then transferred onto the sheets.  It was completely dark outside.  What time is it?  It must be around 4 AM.  I hit the light on my bedside clock which illuminated the time; 6:53 AM.  Huh?  I pondered this for a moment and tried to figure out why this time was strange.  Then my alarm clock went off.  It was 6:55 AM.  Ah, of course…6:55 is when I wake up.  I stumbled downstairs to see I had not prepped the coffee machine the night before.  I stared at the empty coffee pot with hatred in my blood and turned around.  Bottle of water and a granola bar it is.  My shower never got fully hot and before I knew it I was running behind for my morning appointment.  I got dressed, threw some toothpaste across my teeth, and grabbed my keys.

Max was firmly attached to Kate’s breast and Kate was about 1/2 a left eye open away from passing out again.  I leaned in and kissed Max on the head and then Kate on the lips.  I had to go to work.  This was the most unsatisfying morning ever.

Nothing sucks more than waking up before your alarm clock; the rest of the day you feel like you have been robbed of those precious sleeping minutes.  The only thing that sucks more is waking up to the sound of a screaming infant before your alarm clock goes off…it sets a completely different tone for the day.  The immediate diaper changing and then feeding robbed me of any wife-wrapped-up-in-my-arms type moments which I treasure, and I never held my son before heading out the garage door.  What just happened?  It is unbelievably hard to be sitting at my desk in my office when Max is at home.  I just want to be around him…all the time…except when I’m sleeping.  I am so glad I took 2 1/2 weeks off from work but being away from him now is the toughest thing I have ever done.

I miss my Max.  I miss my Kate.  I can’t wait for the weekend!

3 thoughts on “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye

  1. Yep, brings back the sweet memories. You talked about, “It is unbelievably hard to be sitting at my desk in my office when Max is at home. I just want to be around him…all the time…” I truly cherished that time. I remember when Bob would come home from work and make a beeline for the baby, scoop her up, and hold her. If I mentioned to him I JUST got her down, it didn’t matter, he wanted to hold her. I loved that.

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