Okay…I’ve heard a lot of home remedy ideas over the past few weeks about things that promote labor. There are the classics like driving over the railroad tracks, eating spicy food, and going for long walks. Lets lay them all out on the table! If you have something that worked for you or someone you know post it in the comments section of this post. Got a specific dish, tea, or recipe that induces labor…we want to hear it. Untested wives tales? Check em at the door. Let’s get real here people. What worked for you? We’ve gathered a bunch of expecting mothers and fathers along the way so I’m sure they would all love to know. I’ll kick things off with something controversial but true.
In my research over the past few months I found tons of information about cytotek misoprostal and prostoglandin gel. They are all used to help induce labor and are synthetic forms of prostoglandins which can be found naturally in a pregnant woman’s body or a man’s semen. Seriously Mom…might want to stop reading. I just wrote semen…do you really want to know what is coming next? Adding prostoglandins to the pregnant woman is a way to induce labor. How might one add prostoglandins to a pregnant woman? Bingo! A little bingo bango time. Warning to men…be cautious about when you bring this fact up and suggest it to your partner. While sex is scientifically proven to help induce labor, suggesting it to your wife or partner at the wrong time is socially proven to earn you a ticket to the couch for the night. If you are not on the couch and this suggestion is greeted with an open mind you may consider moving on to step 2.
STEP 2. Pitocin is the number 1 instrument used in inducing labor. Pitocin is the synthetic hormone of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone a woman’s body releases during nipple stimulation. I am going to assume you know what to do from here…just be gentle and read some pointers on ways to stimulate oxytocin and not grimaces.
Mom! I swear to God! You don’t want to keep reading this! Okay?
STEP 3. This has the highest potential for sleeping on the couch. The other day Kate was talking to the doula about these things. Oxytocin, prostoglandin, sex, breast pumps, etc. The topic of prostoglandin was expanded upon and questions were asked about is there a better way to “receive” it. Molly, the doula, informed Kate that prostoglandin can be absorbed by the body easily via reproductive organs or by ingestion. Wait…ingestion? I personally know too many people reading this blog to go into any more detail than that but I’ll tell you there was a big fat grin on my face when Kate shared this information.
Mom! I know you read that. You’re in deep shit.
Okay, lets get serious. The above is completely scientifically true and it is a proven natural way to induce child-birth. You knew what you were doing 10 months ago – why not go for it again. All the hormones, chemicals, etc. you need to induce labor are built into your bodies because this is what they are designed to do. What else is out there that can help a birth? Comment on this post and share with us your success stories (not about the above topic please…lets keep it PG). No…let’s hear your story about working out, cooking spicy food, strawberry tea, etc. Share it so all us pregnant people can all try it out and laugh about it over oral sex.
Ha! Booya Mom! Didn’t see that one coming did you?