We’re going to the hospital! No. Wait…nevermind.

Macaroni Suit

Yesterday I found myself browsing the aisles of hell after work in search of ribbon.  Yes…I am talking about Hobby Lobby.  This is where people come to slowly browse for hours on end and meet other people equally as slow as them…and then discuss macaroni art and a thousand ways to integrate hearts into wooden based crafts.  I was on the search for some cloth ribbon for my son’s mobile I am building since all mobiles out there pretty much suck.  I waded through the crowd of stroller-moms discussing 101 ways to make hair ribbons and found the spool I was looking for.  Then my phone rang.  It was Kate.  Was this the call I’ve been waiting for?  Yes…it was.

“My back is killing me more and more and I am having contractions.”  Kate said.  I told her I would be right there and sprinted for the front of the store leaping over barricades of faux plants, bird feeders, and unpainted wooden jewelry boxes.  Damn!  There were 2 people ahead of me in line.  Its fine…how long could this take?  They each have like 1 item.

Oh my Gooooooooood!  Move!  If you are in a hurry at Hobby Lobby…forget it.  The checkout people want to have full conversations whirling around what your project is, how old your kids are, where you are from, do you like clouds, and their thoughts on macaroni art and hair ribbons.  I finally got to the front and paid for my items.  A quick car ride home with little regard for the speed limit and I was screeching in the driveway.  Kate was making dinner and working on her breathing techniques and swaying her hips to keep loose.  I joined her and we started talking things out to see where we were at.

  • Back pain
  • Contractions
  • Pressure
  • Zig sitting really low in the belly

“Okay,” I said, “let’s call your parents and let them know they should hit the road tomorrow.”  Kate nodded in agreement and then decided we should eat dinner, take a bath, and see how she feels in a few hours.  So we did.  Her contractions became more regular through dinner though they still were not painful, her back was the big issue.  We drew her a hot bath, eased her into it with a crossword puzzle, and Bam!  No more contractions.  All quiet on the Western Front again.  We looked at each other in amazement.  The decision was to go to bed and see what happened through the night, if you can sleep through a contraction it is not time to react.  So we eased into bed and waited to see what would happen.  Kate and I both were sawing logs all night.  At one point Luna, our obese cat, sat down with the full weight of her body on my back and neck for almost an hour and it didn’t faze me I was out so hard.  We slept just fine.  No contractions.

This morning…nothing.  All quiet.  Its like being on the pirate ship at the amusement park…swinging back and forth.  This is it, we’re gonna do it, almost there, here we go…nevermind.  Okay here we go again, up and up we go, hold on tight, and…nevermind.  It plays havoc on your sanity.  I know that we are going to give birth any day now…but these experiences leave you with a feeling of will this ever happen?  It will.  Sometime.  Not now.  Just keep waiting and try to keep busy even though there is a big fat elephant in the corner staring you down 24/7.  Thanks goodness it is the weekend.

3 thoughts on “We’re going to the hospital! No. Wait…nevermind.

  1. Well said! You and Kate have been “on call” just like Frank is and it truly IS mentally exhausting! Fortunately you got the whole night’s sleep! You are SO good at describing, Ryan! I LOVED your description of Hobby Lobby trip! My sentiments mirror yours! KVS

  2. In my experience if you really want to have this baby you should have a really long and busy day at work and then force yourself to leave because you are so tired. Before you leave you make yourself a list of things that you really need to do the next day and on your way home say “I really should have stayed and finished that list because I may go into labor.” Then it will happen!

    Good luck! We can’t wait to here about baby Zig.

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