Petered Out!

Okay…yesterday was really interesting.  I posted about circumcision and all hell broke loose in the comment section of the post, on Facebook, and Twitter.  I am both thankful and taken aback by the participation at the same time.  I love the huge response everyone had and how many people wrote in, voted, and participated yesterday.  However, some (not all) of the comments were a bit laughable because of the tone, the intensity, and the soap box mentality.  Here are the things I have taken from this conversation:

  1. I was 50/50 coming into this conversation and I am still 50/50 after yesterday
  2. There are valid arguments for both sides
  3. Those for circumcision wrote single paragraph reasons why they chose circumcision
  4. Those opposed wrote multi-paragraph tirades why I should be opposed
  5. Statistics do show that circumcision is down and still declining
  6. 99% of everyone in my circle of friends, family, and co-workers has circumcised kids

If I had to base my decision on yesterday’s blog discussion I might choose circumcision if only to distance myself from some of the “anti circs.”  I loved the message they had to say but hated they way they delivered it.  Calm down people.  I do respect my son, his body, and the boundaries between father and son…anyone who has followed this blog knows that.  Many of the sites posted in the comment section were sites I had already checked out but I looked a second time.  I agree on so many points.  However, anytime someone provides me an opinion as if it were a fact it really pisses me off.  It is why I can’t stand getting into political debates because the lines between opinion and fact blur till there is no truth in anything.  It all just becomes bullshit.  This discussion on circumcision (in my opinion) surrounding my son has become bullshit.  One side is screaming and the other has shut down and said “whatever.”

Kate and I will make the decision we feel is best for our son and it is our decision to make as a family.  With any decision it is imperative to have all the facts, know many opinions, and then formulate your own.  You have all provided great information.  We’ll take it from here.

To wrap up the circumcision debate…here are the facts:  There are opinions both for and against circumcision and parents in America are legally allowed to make that decision for their children.  Those are facts.  If you want to debate those facts or express your opinion further…start a blog.

9 thoughts on “Petered Out!

  1. Ah, the cowboy vs. the community — and how America love to fancy themselves both, but pick the one that fits their bill at the moment. Your openness has certainly has givens us a good example of that.

    I FB’d my response yesterday and tried to keep it in the lighter vein (the message was clear). But let me ask this of you: would you make the same decision if Zig came out as a girl? And if that changes your mind one way or another, why should it?

    Keep enjoying this luxurious time to think about your decisions while that roller coaster approaches the top. It’s going to be pure fun from there on out.

    1. When did I make a decision? I am in the process of making a decision but apparently weighing all factors into a decision making process makes me pro circumcision and thus wrong.

      If female circumcision was as common as male circumcision, yes I would have the same debate if Zig was a girl.

      1. Ha, I meaning behind the sentence was the luxury to ‘think’, not that you had made a decision … (think about your options?) whatever.

        And female circumcision is common in some areas of the world, so you should really consider it. 😉 And let me know what Kate has to say about it.

        (And to be clear in case anyone may not get my tone, I in no manner think nor suggest that circumcision — be it male or female — is a good idea.)

  2. I saw the posting on the Facebook group I belong to called “saving our sons” and was going to comment on it. I’m glad I decided to check your front page for more recent updates. When I cast my vote and saw the numbers I knew that this might have ballooned a bit. 🙂

    I just wanted to chime in because:
    1. I’m a dude
    2. I have a 3 1/2 year old son and went through the same questions
    3. I like to hear myself type

    The only thing of value I have to add is a paper I wrote a few years back regarding circumcision. I tried to approach it from an analytical perspective and keep the personal “wharblgarble” out of it.

    The essay is here:

    This is a really polarized topic unfortunately and I think people sometimes let their passion for it spew out into the keyboard. Text in my opinion has never been the best medium for a good debate.

    1. Dennis,
      Thank you for reading more of the blog before posting, I truly appreciate it. It has gotten quite “passionate” in the ole comment section over the past few days. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated reading your post and I look forward to reading your essay as well. I’ll check out the Facebook group too. Much appreciated.

    2. I liked your essay and appreciated the balance of it. There are pros and cons to either side and absolutely no definitive right answer. I truly hope you will subscribe to this blog and once the rabble has ebbed on the topic of circumcision, join me on my journey and provide insight along the way. I look forward to reading more of your comments, posts, and writing Dennis.

  3. Oh dang… I thought that when you hyperlinked “start a blog” you were pointing to mine… I guess we can dream huh?

    I’d be interested to hear you revisit this subject in a year or decade (wish there was a fast forward option on this blog) and see how your thoughts develop.

    I think I get what Jason above was saying about a girl- he’s not saying “would you circumcise a girl” he’s saying (I think) “would you put this same care and consideration into researching if you should or should not circumcise a girl” “making the decision” does not imply we know your conclusion- it’s just acknowledging that we know you have the idea that in your mind this anatomy is possibly optional. The fact that we don’t even consider this for girls (when other cultures do) and we do consider this for boys (when other cultures don’t) should give you pause to reflect about your objectivity.

    As a mother of boys who do have this anatomy, (which I don’t consider optional) even though I fully understand your heart is in the right place in your course of questioning- the fact that you even are questioning frightens me (in a visceral way) as much as I think you would be- to listen to a rational caring loving soon-to-be dad weigh the risks and benefits of possibly leaving his daughter uncircumcised when all the women he knows are fine and happy being circumcised the way their society expects.
    Here is a blog by a mother who circumcised her daughter…(yes, there are bloggers who circumcise their daughters) It seems like a very happy occasion for the adults and the little girl does not seem traumatized. The clinic seems very clean and the people involved don’t seem like awful woman hating savages, in fact as far as I can tell, there were no men involved.

    1. I would definitely revisit this subject again in the future as I’m sure my opinions and thoughts will change once I am a father of a few kids. My thoughts currently are still that of one who is a moderator that had to fight for one side to keep a discussion somewhat balanced in an open debate. I love to be the Devil’s Advocate. Where do my opinions currently stand? I’m keeping those to myself for now and standing by my belief that a well informed decision is the right decision. Jason is one of my best friends even though we rarely see eye to eye…its the joy of friendship. Our discussions and debates are always full of examples primed to shake the other out of the comfort zone. At the end of the day he still thinks what he thinks and I think what I think but hopefully we have an understanding and/or a respect for other’s train of thought. Don’t be frightened Sarah, just remember that you are in control of your own life.

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