This week I am in Syracuse, NY for work and it has me thinking ahead to next year when we will have a newborn. What happens then when I hit the road for a few weeks? Will my baby remember me? Will my wife resent me? Will we still be happy?
Kate and I moved to Wichita to create some great stability in our lives so we could start a family. Most importantly I wanted to take a corporate job so that Kate would have time to paint. We spent 2 years in San Francisco while she got her masters (a sacrifice of our social lives, my career, and our finances) and it felt in danger of being a waste when we moved back to NY. Kate had this shiny new diploma and she was working part time at a restaurant and nearly full time with me at CreativeRHINO. It wasn’t fair. She is a painter. She needed to paint.
When the opportunity for me to accept the position of Director of Viral Marketing at easygates, LLC came around I jumped on it because I saw an opportunity for my wife to pursue her dreams. Wichita has a vibrant and growing art scene that we were confident she would do well in, and so far she is poised to do so with her upcoming solo show next month. She also started teaching at Friends University this week: Design 101. My wife! She is teaching college! How awesome is that?!!! I have never been so proud and her happiness fuels me as I embark on these road trips, I am not working for a paycheck: I am working for our happiness. What happens when the baby arrives?
It is expected of me to return to the office after the baby is born, what will Kate do? We planned on having children in Wichita but we found out we were pregnant the second week we lived here! Kate is brand new to Wichita, trying to make friends and connections, and all the while there is a person growing in her belly…a person who won’t want her to go paint or teach…he’ll just want attention and breast milk.
I am scared. I’m scared my wife will not be able to pursue her dreams – that we will compromise our dreams. Can we afford to be parents? Will Kate hate me for moving us to Wichita, KS and immediately getting her pregnant? How do we find balance between responsibility, pursuing of aspirations, and happiness. I guess that is life. My only comforts are I truly believe Kate and I are going to be good parents, we will set aside time for us, we will evolve with this transition and become closer, we will continue to support each other and the baby, and we will always look to rid ourselves of the toxic elements of life. I think addressing my fears is the first step in conquering them; I just want to be a good husband, father, friend, and be true to myself and my own desires as well.