While it may take a village to raise a child it doesn’t take one to name it. Tell that to the village. Now that we know it is a boy all anyone can talk about is what THEY think the name should be. Excuse me? Name your own children. Kate and I have both despised this part of pregnancy since the very beginning: people’s assumption that they have the right to weigh in on the naming process. We too are guilty of this crime as we have both suggested names to family members and friends in the past. We are all guilty! However, we have had a plan to counteract this phenomenon which we put into full effect this week. We are not sharing the names we have picked out with anyone. Not even family. Sorry guys, this is top-secret stuff. Want to know the name? I’ll tell you after he is born when I introduce you to him; no sooner.
So, what kind of unrequested-name-advice-giver are you?
- THE WRONG Jr. will suggest you name the baby after them…even if they are not a family member.
- THE CRITIC will tell you why the name you have picked out is stupid.
- THE RHYMER tells you all the stuff your baby’s name rhymes with…and therefore will be teased for in high school.
- THE BABY-BOOKER tells you the top 10 most popular names currently.
- THE HOLLYWOODER thinks of names like “Apple” to suggest to you.
- THE HISTORIAN is usually a family member that suggests old family names.
- THE WORDSMITH makes up names by combining two words and suggests things like “Van Zighouse Gates.”
- THE JOKESTER constantly suggests names that are unrealistic and pertain more to you than a baby.
- THE JOHN JACOB JINGLE HEIMER SCHMIDT wants you to name it the same as you.
- THE BIBLICAL J. only thinks of John, Joseph, and James as real names.
- THE MONOGRAMER obsesses over the baby’s initials and what it spells.
- THE VERB GUY suggests verbs as names like “Frolic.”
- THE PAT suggests names that could be a girl…could be a boy.
- THE POIGNANT suggests only single syllable names.
- THE NICKNAMER tells you what your baby’s nickname will be.
I have tended to be a bit of a 7, 8, and 11 myself. Sorry to all of you who have been suggesting names but I will tell you right now that Beaureguard is out (thank you Van Steenhuyses of Vinton) and we have a 75% probability of a name picked out. We will decide when we meet young Zig in January. If he likes his name we will name him that, and that is when we will tell all of you; there is no name game playing after the boy has been named.
Curious what it could be? Here is a hint, it is not “Van Zighouse Gates McGee.”