Dad the Protector

Yesterday I woke up to find that I had been bitten by some small critter…presumably a spider.  The bite was right in the crease of the back of my knee so it was easy to irritate and I assumed its itchiness and size were being fueled by that fact.  Today, it is worse.  I fear I have been bitten by a brown recluse.  The bite has changed color, it had grown in size, and there are red rash/streaks going half way down my leg that are sore to the touch.  Scary.  So I went to the internet…naturally.  What did the internet do?  Scared me even more!  There are pictures of people whose legs have fallen off from brown recluse bites!  I don’t want to lose a leg!

In all of my panick I began wondering if Kate and I should move.  What if a brown recluse bites Zig?  I’ve already found 2 wasps in what will be the baby room since we moved in.  What if Zig got stung and bit the same night?  What if there is sudden crib death?  What if?!  What if?!  What if?!!!!!!!!

I called my dad and he said, “there were plenty of brown recluses in the house when you were a baby and you survived…relax.”  Then he changed the subject to the weather.  At what point does parenting become so relaxed…I am so envious.  He brushed off my fear as if I it were a paranoia of machine gun-toting baby hamsters.  I guess life is scary if you obsess over it but we survive so long as we are respectfully cautious…and avoid machine gun-toting baby hamsters!

Hamster la Vista Baby!

5 thoughts on “Dad the Protector

  1. Is it hot there? It is freaking HOT here. I sat outside over my lunch break editing a paper, but after like, 12 minutes I was pretty much ready to throw up because it’s so hot here. It will probably generate a Class 3 Murderstorm or two later on, because of the heat.
    You should maybe go to the doctor, also.

      1. It’s actually hotter now than it was when the sun was still out. Stupid Midwest weather is stupid.

  2. OMG – lovvvve the hampster!!! Bob’s brother was bitten on the face by a brown recluse a couple years ago and had to have plastic surgery—he waited too long before seeing the DR.

    1. See? There you go.
      [I]Plastic surgery[/I], Ryan! Do you really want your kneepit to look like Joan Rivers’ face? WELL, DO YOU??!!

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