Oh Brother!

The Gates Boys

When my wife Kate and I learned we’d be having another baby boy we were ecstatic…what could be more fun than brothers?  Max had set the bar pretty high by being pretty stinkin’ cute (and well-behaved) so when Dodge was born on March 1st we were elated to see we had successfully made another good-looking kid.  Two kids in diapers is crazy, and my wife may kill me one of these days if I play golf while she’s home alone with the two of them, but you can see how very soon Max will be the little helper and big brother.

Holding Hands

We celebrated Max being a big brother right away so he didn’t feel shunned by the addition of Dodge to our family.  We have constantly reinforced that he is Dodge’s big brother and needs to help out, protect him, teach him stuff, and be a good example.  There is only so much a two-year-old can do, but Max has done everything within his ability.  Max practices changing diapers on his stuffed animals so he can one day change Dodge’s, he adorns Dodge with kisses non-stop, and the other day Max helped calm Dodge in the car by shushing him and holding his hand.  Holding his hand!  What am I supposed to do with that?  I open the back door of the car and there is a two-year-old holding a two-month-old’s hand telling him “Its okay Dodge…shhhhh…back to night, night.”  Seriously…its too much cuteness!!!

Brotherly Love

Clearly at some point Max will be able to actually help out with Dodge, then they will start competing with each other, and then they will team up and rebel against Kate and I as a unified front.  I only hope that some day they will learn to mutually respect each other and get back to loving me and Kate.  I don’t expect to see them holding hands in the back seat when they’re in their 30′s and we have family reunions…but maybe they’ll drink a beer with their old dad and tell stories from back in the day.  However, I’ll always picture them as I do now…little cherubs who need me and call me “Daddy” when the monsters come out at night from the shadows of their closet.

“Its okay Max…its okay Dodge…shhhhh…back to night, night.”

My Two Boys The Day They Met

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Max Is Big Boy Now?

Brining home a new baby can be a lot of change for a toddler, and there was no exception for our 2-year-old Max when he met his little brother Dodge last week.  Things started of fine with hugs and kisses but have daily descended into the expected pit of regression as Max acts out in an attempt to still be “the baby.”  Temper tantrums, fake crying when Dodge cries, insisting that Dodge’s toys are his, and everything else you’d expect from a toddler robbed of being an only child.  I feel bad for him…but at the same time I’m suddenly aware of how stinky and massive he is. Max is not a baby…he’s a big hulking kid.

The hardest part in all this is that Dodge got all tangled up during birth so we had to have a C-Section…meaning Kate can’t lift Max.  So not only is he coping with not being the baby, he has to do it without Mama picking him up.  It’s a lot for a little guy to digest.

I’m working from home this week but fully aware of the fact that next week we need some solutions for how Kate will be able to handle both Max and Dodge…so we started celebrating “Big Boy Moments!”  Max can already go up and down the stairs all on his own so even if it is me (who can lift him) he’s been asked to walk on his own like a “big boy.”  Diapers can be changed on the floor, he can get in and out of his car seat in Mama’s car, he can sit at the table and feed himself.  He’s pretty much fully prepared to be a big boy with the exception of one thing…the crib.

Max In Crib

Knowing it was a lot to throw at Max all at once, I took the front of the crib off and threw a “Big Boy Bed Party” for Max which pretty much consisted of showing him the bed and reading books with him in bed.  Max was very excited to have a bed that was just the right size for him and loved crawling in and out of it at his leisure.  We discussed the rules of the bed and how once it was night-night time he had to stay in the bed.  He agreed.  Then it was nap time…and the true test.  Would he stay in bed?  I tucked him in, kissed him goodnight, then left to observe from the camera.  This is what I saw:

Max touches the floor to see how far it is and prove he can reach it.

Now two hands on the floor…still technically in bed.

Next Max sends his favorite stuffed animal “Muffin” out to test the waters.

As Muffin has survived the floor test it is clearly safe to add more stuffed animals.

Next up, the orange monster tests out the floor…”Yup, all safe down here.”

The orange monster and Max check under the bed to see if there are other monsters.

Max sends Muffin down to help then looks up at the camera to see if he’s busted.

BUSTED! Max pretends to be asleep.

After a quick re-tucking…Max goes to sleep.

Between the Muffin and Orange Monster tests there was a brief out-of-bed experience to help Muffin back to bed.  Other than that…he has stayed in bed.  On his third night he fell out and bonked his head, since then he has slept in the back corner instead draped over the edge.  In the morning he gets out of bed on his own and plays with his toys, reads books, and dresses Muffin.  Then he knocks on the door and says “I’m up!” and we come get him.  Not too shabby.

The Gates Boys

Since implementing the “Big Boy” test he has also attempted to pee in the potty twice, started doing his own dishes, and tries to help with Dodge.  When he can’t help with Dodge he plays pretend with Muffin and acts out the role of parent.  Muffin recently found his way into the bath and is currently tumbling in the dryer out of sight.  Adding a brother to the mix will be beneficial to both children as they will fight, compete, love each other, and eventually learn to work as a unified force in defeating Mommy and Daddy and getting into trouble beyond my wildest nightmares.  For now…we are all in transition.  Kate and I are learning how to be parents of two while maintaining our identities as individuals, a couple, and professionals.  Max is learning how to be a big boy, a big brother, and not the center of attention.  Dodge is learning that the dark blurry shape in front of him is Dada.  So long freedom!!!

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Max Meets Dodge

All questions as to if Max understood we were having a baby have been answered…he gets it. He’s met Dodge twice and is quick to point out, “that’s the baby.” We explained his name is Dodge and Max calls him “baby Dodge.” He knows to be quiet around him, wash his hands, loves touching his soft hair, and kisses him on the head every chance he has. Today we bring Dodge home and I’m excited to start our lives as a family at last!

My boys

Preparing For The New Baby

Co-Sleeper

Things just got real.  We pulled the co-sleeper out and got it setup next to the bed, setup a diaper changing station outside of Max’s room, and started preparing Max for the reality that there is a new baby coming.  ”That’s the baby’s bed.”  He tells us pointing to the co-sleeper.  Then he goes to climb in it and we stop him, “Yes, this is the baby’s bed.  Max’s bed is in Max’s room.”  Then Max goes and confirms he still has a bed.  We’re trying to do as much as possible to not only get prepared with less than two weeks to go, but also get Max prepared.  I’m curious to see how he’ll react when he is no longer the center of our attention.  The only clue to what may happen is the cat, Luna, who went from being our fur-baby to the thing that had to howl for food when we forgot she lived with us after Max was born…though I don’t foresee Max pooping in a box and hiding under the stairs in a suitcase for days on end.  Who knows.  All I know is Max wants to climb in that co-sleeper and claim it for himself, but is starting to respect that it is not his.  Then he said, “Max is going to cuddle the baby in the baby’s bed.”  What an awesome two-year-old…he wants to cuddle his baby brother.  He’ll want to kill him in a few weeks but for now…as the baby stays in utero…I will hold onto the dream of my boys playing nice with each other.

Meeeeooooow!

Shut up Luna.

Feeling The Baby Kick!

For the past few weeks Kate and I have been saying, “We just have to make it through October!”  With one week to go we are so close but November has already filled up with trips and things to do!  This weekend we are off to Houston for a wedding, then its Halloween, then a week in Iowa to set up Kate’s next show, then down to Dallas for another of Kate’s shows, next we are off to KC for Thanksgiving, then we go to St. Louis for work, and finally we have a weekend at home December 8th.  Ahhhhhhh.  Oh, and during all that we’re replacing the roof, the siding, gutters, and remodeling the back of the house.  Fun!  With all this craziness going on its easy to forget that we are having a baby in February…which is only 4 months away!  4 MONTHS!!!

The other night we crashed on the couch for a few minutes of down time before crawling into bed when Kate exclaimed, “Ooh…calm down Zag!”  I shot her a look and she explained, “He’s kicking up a storm.”  Prior to this when I would try to feel a kick it was so subtle that I could barely feel it.  Not this time!  Zag was practically leaving foot marks in Kate’s belly he was kicking so hard!  It felt so good to have a real interaction with my son.  I cuddled up to Kate’s belly and began singing…and the kicking slowly subsided till he was just calmly shifting around.  I’ve been so wrapped up in all the things we have going on that I have not been anywhere near as involved during this pregnancy as I was with Max.

Last night, I cuddled up to Kate and placed my hand on her belly and sure enough Zag gave some great kicks throughout the night.  It felt so good to feel my boy kicking away.  He is strong!  By the time we head to Iowa we’ll be entering the third trimester, where has the time gone?  Max loves to listen to the belly and say, Hi baby!”  He also loves to kiss the belly.  Its pretty adorable.  So now I have my eyes set on January when Max turns 2, we have one month to go till the birth, and my work schedule is open to do what I do best;  Be a loving father and husband.

We just have to make it through December.  ;)