After three months of being an adorable meat-pile of cuteness our 3-month-old, Dodge, has started exploring his voice. It started last week as he was laying on his blanket and staring up at a mobile…a small grunt…then a sigh…then a babble, a coo, and a menagerie of noises and sounds began to flow from him. He is beginning his long journey to learn to communicate with the world through speech. It seems like yesterday our 2-year-old Max was laying on the bed of our old apartment grasping a teething ring while grunting out sighs for the very first time. Now? Max is a non-stop flow of sentences and sounds that seem to have no end. As the saying goes…
You spend the first few years of their lives teaching them to walk and talk, then the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and shut up.
Since learning this new skill, Dodge wants to show it off all the time such as 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, and so on. He also has his first tooth coming in so he’s quite good at the fussing and crying sounds as well. It is both an exciting time and an exhausting time in our household. One of the things I learned from a friend the first time around is that right when you think you can’t take something anymore like 2 AM feedings, teething, etc., that phase ends and the next one begins. So you get relief and discover a new frustration all at the same time. With Max I was so happy when he slept through the night and got his teeth in that I can hardly remember how it came to be that he evolved from grunt to, “I love you Dada.” So grunt away Dodge…Daddy is listening.
I wonder what his first word will be? Anyone remember Max’s? I do.
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When I was little I remember Father’s Day meaning my dad would sleep in, we’d make breakfast in bed for him, give him cards, and then he’d watch golf all day while my sister and I went off and did whatever we’d normally do. I would always ask why there wasn’t a Kid’s Day? My mother would tell me, “Every day is Kid’s Day.” I don’t think I really understood that till yesterday when I got the real deal Father’s Day for the first time. I celebrated this holiday when Max was a baby, then when he was 1, but yesterday…2-year-old Max, 3-month-old Dodge, and my wife Kate, and my parents taught me the true meaning of Father’s Day.
I woke up to tiny morning-breath in my face. Max, my two-year-old, was pretty much standing on top of me waiting for me to wake up. I sleepily opened my eyes and Max blurted out the words Kate had instructed him to say, “Happy Father’s Day!” I thanked him and pulled him in for a hug which also came with a morning-breath kiss. Kate and Dodge brought me breakfast in bed where the four of us sat and watched cartoons together as Max became more and more hyperactive. Max gave me a homemade giraffe he had made at summer school, dodge coo’d and smiled in my arms, and Kate made everything easy.
I then moved downstairs where I claimed the entire couch to myself and filled the TV with SportsCenter, movies with explosions, and Discovery Channel mockumentary about mermaids. I napped as well. Food was brought to me, kids were kept at a distance so I could sleep, and things were fantastically relaxing. Max decided he was going to be ROBOT MAX for the day (he places a colored box over his head and says “ROBOT MAX” to everything) which is great because you can give him commands and he will execute his duties…he also takes tiny steps and is easy to chase if need be. If he takes off running it usually ends abruptly with him going box first into a wall or inanimate object. I love ROBOT MAX.
The afternoon was spent at my parent’s house where family play-time was bountiful. ”Papa Doo & G.G.,” as the grand kids call them, have toys that are kept at their house so it is like a reunion every time they go over. Plus there is the pool…and let me tell you, I think Max might be a fish! For the past few weekends since summer arrived in Kansas we have been working on Max at the pool. While he enjoyed the zero depth pool at the YMCA, he has been deathly afraid of any water higher than his waist…till recently. Once I found the right life vest for him that fit him the way he liked…he began spending more time aquatic than on land. This is fine with me as I am a water person!
With Max clearly comfortable in the pool I have started working on skills he can use at the lake this summer as well as rules. The rules are simple:
You must wear a life vest if you are by the pool
No running no matter what by the pool
No getting in the water without an adult
The skills we have been working on are jumping in the water and how to swim. Swimming is easy in the pool where there are no waves but in the lake there is always some motion and our bay tends to swirl slightly causing everything to drift to the west…like a current. Max is good at using his legs but hasn’t quite mastered the arms part of the doggy-paddle which he’ll need to navigate the waters of Lake George. He has become fantastic about jumping in from the side of the pool to my arms and can easily get in and out from the steps…but there are no steps at the lake and the height from the dock to the water is a bit higher. So I taught Max how to go up and down the ladder in the pool and to jump to me from the diving board. Pretty awesome for a 2-year-old!
Shortly after that video, Max dove head-first into the water from the diving board and I started teaching him how to dive. He is fearless. The other great thing is that he is comfortable swimming in the deep end which is great since the lake is about 6 feet deep off our dock and about 15 feet at the raft. My biggest fear is him having no fear of the water so at the end of every swimming session I have him take off the vest and step into the pool to me. He sinks like a rock to the bottom without the life vest and comes scrambling to the top with his arms going and his feet kicking. I give him a second to recover before he is about to go under again, then I grab him and scoop him up in my arms where we talk about our water safety rules and why we always wear a vest by the water.
That night we had a feast. Peter Luger’s steaks on the grill, dining outside, my boys, my dad, my family…it was great! I got my dad two goofy cards and a submersible iPhone case like the one used to record the videos above of Max. Dodge sat in my lap and smiled at me as we drank fine wine and talked about the world. Then, my dad gave me the look. I know this look well. I love this look. It’s the look that means, “Night swim?” I nodded back and we slowly snuck away from the table and cleaning duties. It was our day…why not. Three generations of boys climbed into the pool as the stars lit up the sky and the water cooled our bodies. It was perfect.
Its true…every day of the year is “Kid’s Day.” Yesterday was my favorite Father’s Day with my dad because we got to share the experience together. I remember him teaching me to swim, playing games with me, and also how we gave him some time off to just relax. I thought Father’s Day was just about the relaxing part…but after my morning of napping I got itchy feet and wanted to do something fun with my kids. I wanted to feel like a dad on Father’s Day. There is no finer feeling than having fun with your child and feeling them hug you. As I tucked Max in to bed 2 hours past his bedtime he told me, unprompted, that he loved me. He looked me right in the eyes and said, “I love you Dada.” Nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I squeezed him tight and asked if he had a fun Father’s Day? He said, “Yup, let’s do it again tomorrow.” I explained it was once a year and then I asked him a question I should have asked when the day began, “Max, do you know what Father means?” He had no idea. I explained that “Father” is another word for “Dada.” He replied, “…and Mama is the other father.” No,” I explained, “Mama is the mother.” You could see him realize what Mother’s Day had been all about and what Father’s Day meant. He hugged me once more and whispered in my ear, “I love you Dada…Mama’s my sweetheart.” I called Kate into the room and asked him to repeat what he had just said and he did, “You’re my sweetheart Mama.” Best feeling ever!!! There is no better feeling than knowing your child loves you…but hearing it means all the world.
Mom…Dad…I love you. I know you have taken on the roles of being grandparents to my and my sister’s kids but you will always be our parents. Mom, you are MYsweetheart. Dad, I will always go night swimming with you. I love you both and I can’t thank you enough for spending my childhood teaching me how to be a parent now. I am simply following your example and in return…my sons love me. Thank you. Happy Father’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day. Every day is kids day…but it should be Parent’s Day. I love you.
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Girls develop faster than boys which can be frustrating at school when going through potty training. All the girls are making potty training progress in the bathroom while the boys are hiding in the corner behind a ficus tree grunting out a chicken nugget steamer into their pee-laden diapers. Or…is that just my two-year-old? We bought the tiny potty, we’ve read the books, we’ve tried getting him comfortable around it, and I’ve showed him daily how to pee in the potty or outside on a bush. However, Max is afraid of his poop and feels grossed out when it happens. Then last night happened.
As I was picking up diapers for our baby, Dodge, last night at the store I saw a Spider-Man Toilet Seat for kids. On a whim…I grabbed it along with some stickers, a Lightning McQueen car, and some cork board. My plan was to create a potty chart in the bathroom with goals for attempts and successes Max could track with stickers. When enough goals and successes were met Max would get the toy. Then up would go a new toy and a new chart. Seems simple enough. With my arms full of potty training incentives…my cell phone rang. On the other end of the line was my wife and kids shouting wildly about something exciting that had just happened…as it ironically turned out, Max had just used the potty for the first time.
Once home I learned that Max had been taking a bath when he shouted the phrase, “Oh no…my butt!!!” Usually this is when he goes and hides behind the ficus tree…but this was a bathtub…and he was naked. Kate leapt into action and hoisted Senior Poo-Butt onto the potty where he made his first official potty. It didn’t go great. There were tears, he was freaked out, and not everything landed where it should land…but who cares. He made a poo-poo on the potty. Afterward he was scared that he would be in trouble and insisted that Kate not tell me. ”Don’t tell Dada!” That made me a little sad that he thinks I would be upset…but there was clearly only one thing to do.
Throw a Poo-Poo Potty Party!!!
There was music, cartoons, a cupcake, high-fives, staying up late, extra books, and tons of encouragement and congratulations. It was the strangest party I have ever been to. Max loved it. I showed him his new Spider-Man Potty and immediately he wanted to sit on it and give it a try. To our surprise…he used it right away and took care of a little more business! This morning he tried again and it is the topic of much excited conversation in our household right now! Nothing like having my morning coffee while my son details his poop escapades. It is strange that he has learned to swim and to use the potty all in the same week…I guess he’s just ready. Like I said with swimming, all you can do with kids is teach them the tools and when they are ready…they will start using them. The hardest part is teaching myself patience. I am not a patient man. However, there are many sticker-chart-filled days ahead of us in the bathroom so I better find some more patience or I could make Max afraid of the potty. So roll out the red carpet, toss a candle in a cupcake, and flip on the cartoons. Its Poo-Poo Potty Party Time!
A very happy Max with his brand new Spider-Man Potty Seat!
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All things you say and shout to a toddler at the pool. Max, my two-year-old, loves going to his grandparent’s house to play in their yard and swim in the pool. Pool season is back and he is a few months older…and a few months more adventurous. We’ve been going to the YMCA all winter where they have an indoor pool so he is very familiar with water but it clearly scares him as well. He loves being in it when it is very shallow but once it is waist-high he’s had his fun and heads for shallow waters. This is a good thing for safety but counterproductive to teaching him to swim. How do you teach a toddler to have a healthy fear of water at a young age while teaching him to swim?
Dodge’s 1st Swim
Memorial Day weekend we took the boys swimming and Dodge, our three-month-old, took a dip for the first time and loved it. Max was a weirdo and only wanted to sit on the stairs with his feet in…which is fine because I don’t want to drag him into the water and make him afraid of it. He gradually worked up to getting in and with the assistance of a life-vest felt comfortable riding piggyback on me as I paddled around. Then I continued teaching him how he has to kick his feet to swim and move his arms. When he started doing it while I was holding him was when I gave him some small distances to swim. He swam from me to the stairs…about a foot which is really just jumping and coasting. We did this a number of times till he knew what to expect and then, when he coasted to me, I took step back and there he was floating. He panicked for a moment and dog-paddled for his life into my arms. We all cheered and he knew he had done something cool. So we did this a few more times till he jumped off the stairs and I didn’t catch him at all. He was just floating next to me, dog-paddling, focused (not scared), and he turned a little and swam right to me! It was awesome! My son swam.
Last weekend we were back at the pool with some friends who have a four-year-old girl who Max is in awe of. Whenever they play together he learns something new because he wants to be just like her. She strided into the pool without any flotation device and swam to her dad. Max thought this was amazing. While she still needed help and the deep end was off-limits, she was fully capable of maneuvering herself around the pool. So what did Max do? What any boy would do around an older girl he likes…he started showing off. He likes to jump in the pool from the side where I catch him. I thought this would be an interesting moment to see what would happen if I didn’t catch him.
Max cannon-balled into the pool, sank to the bottom of the shallow end, bobbed to the surface kicking his feet, and reached out for me. I grabbed him and looked into his eyes as he cleared the water away to see if I’d spooked him or encouraged fun. ”Again!!!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. Ah…fun. We repeated this numerous times till all the adults were tired and ready to be dry. Everyone got out of the pool except for me, Max, and his “girlfriend.” Then it happened. He let go of me. He voluntarily let go of me and was floating in the water next to me kicking his feet and moving his arms the way I taught him. He swam over to his friend with a HUGE smile on his face and showed no sign of coming back to Dada’s arms. Max was on his own in the pool. He swam to the deep end and back three times without ever stopping. He played. He figured out how to turn. He splashed with his friend as he swam. He swam. He swam! HE SWAM!
In the end I had to drag him from the pool. He’s a fish. I don’t have any pictures because I was too busy swimming alongside him, cheering him on, and soaking up the moment. It was one of my proudest days as a papa and there was nothing that was going to take me away from experiencing that moment with my son. That night Max and I talked endlessly about it at bedtime. I said, “Did you have fun swimming with Dada?” Max honestly replied, “No, I swam all by myself.” I knew what he meant and he was right…he swam all by his self…like a big boy. My big boy. So the moral to the story I guess is you teach kids the skills they need and then patiently wait for them to use them when they are ready. I’ve been teaching Max to swim for over a year and he did it on Saturday. It was when he was ready. Patience. <sigh> There seems to be a lot of rewards for this “patience” thing…I need to learn to use it more often. Also, kids learn more from other kids so get them together as often as possible. Who knows what baby Dodge will learn from his big brother Max as they get older.
“Dodge Shark”…the next swimming Gates.
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Max, my two-year-old, has been a champ when it comes to sleeping and eating. He’ll eat anything you put in front of him and he has a specific routine for naps and bedtime that he sticks to pretty well. Till recently. Over the past few weeks he has started prolonging his bedtime routine more and more by asking for longer baths, more books, extra kisses, and more cuddles. How do you say no to more kisses and cuddles? At first I didn’t…then it became par for the course and the words, “One last kiss?” (albeit adorable) became the bane of my 7:30 PM hour. Then, the issue revealed it’s head a few weeks ago.
As a toddler Max struggles to find the words required when he is mad, frustrated or scared. The floodgate of words that pours out of his mouth at dinner when he makes a convincing argument for more juice instead of milk suddenly becomes dammed when you ask him why he threw the Legos down the stairs at the cat. “I ju wha ta mee no Lego a ssstair mmpff cat.” Huh? This same style of speech is what I am greeted with in the middle of the night when he calls out to me or wails. He can’t verbalize what is wrong. So you have to interrogate him and figure out which “yesses” are real and which ones are just him saying “yes.”
ME: “What’s a matter buddy?
MAX: “Max mmmm ay a mm ark.”
ME: “You’re mmmm ay a mm ark?”
MAX: “No, I’m a hay a ark.”
ME: “You’re afraid of the dark?”
MAX: “Yeah, Max is afraid of the dark.”
ME: “Okay, what are you afraid of?”
MAX: “The dark.”
ME: “Right, is it the camera?”
MAX: “Yeah.”
ME: “Is it the turtle?
MAX: “Yeah.”
ME: “Is it the running chainsaw in the corner?”
MAX: “Yeah.”
ME: “Is it the airplane?”
MAX: “Yeah.”
So…clearly there is no running chainsaw in the corner…so what is Max afraid of? The dark, yes…I know. Every night when I tuck him in he has become increasingly obsessed with the camera in the corner of his room. It is a wireless network camera that has been fantastic! We put him to bed, then log into it via our phone or iPad, and can go across the street to a friend’s house and still have eyes and ears on him. Pretty sweet. At least it was till now. Now, in Max’s imagination, it is a creature in the dark waiting to pounce him. It has one green light to indicate it is on and when it is dark there are four infrared lights so it can see in the dark. It became quickly obvious that this was what had him spooked the most…so I took it off the wall this week. While this helped, Max was still afraid of the dark so we have implemented new pieces to assist with his going to bed:
He has a rocket ship nightlight on right next to his bed.
He has a glowing turtle that puts stars on the ceiling for 20 minutes.
We leave the hallway light on.
We open his closet and turn the closet light on if need be.
We gave him a special flashlight he sleeps with.
Last night I found out that if you sneak into his room in the middle of the night and take the flashlight away, turn it off, and put it on the shelf…Max knows…even in his sleep. Without opening his eyes or fully waking up he began to cry and toss around the bed. I snuck back in to his room, turned on the flashlight, and placed it in his hand. Conk! Night, night. I can vividly remember being scared to death of the dark when I was little and hating the Cookie Monster puppet that sat on my shelf in my room. I loved Cookie Monster by day but at night…those eyes…always watching me. Creepy. I’d cry for my Dad who would come and take Cookie away and kiss me goodnight. I liked having the curtains open so I could see the street light outside my window. Kate slept with the closet light on when we started dating a decade ago. The dark can be spooky.
In the next few months Max will move into the “Big Boy Room” so Dodge can have the nursery. The camera will go back up so we can spy on Dodge but his stay in the nursery will be very short as we want them to share a room together as soon as Dodge is sleeping through the night. I think I am going to need to come up with some fun energy efficient lighting options for the boy’s room once the theme is decided on. If it is “Fire Engine Bunk Beds” then I will add in lights they can activate with buttons and such. If it is “Rocket Ship Beds In Space” then I will add LED consoles and maybe some LED stars for a night light. Either way…who knows what kids will be afraid of once the lights go off. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get my chainsaw back from Max’s room.
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Welcome to So Long Freedom. My name is Ryan and I am making some major changes in my life! From freelancer to Corporate America. From married with a cat to parenthood. From NY to Wichita, KS. It is a lot to tackle at once!
Follow along with us as my wife Kate, my sons Max & Dodge, and I grow together and have experiences not unlike yours. Learn from our mistakes, teach us from your experience, and hopefully laugh the whole way.
After three months of being an adorable meat-pile of cuteness our 3-month-old, Dodge, has started exploring his voice. It started last week as he was laying on his blanket and staring up at a mobile…a small grunt…then a sigh…then a babble, a coo, and a menagerie of noises and sounds began to flow from him. He is beginning his long journey to learn to communicate with the world through speech. It seems like yesterday our 2-year-old Max was laying on the bed of our old apartment grasping a teething ring while grunting out sighs for the very first time. Now? Max is a non-stop flow of sentences and sounds that seem to have no end. As the saying goes…
