Potty Training: The Poo-Poo Potty Party

Girls develop faster than boys which can be frustrating at school when going through potty training.  All the girls are making potty training progress in the bathroom while the boys are hiding in the corner behind a ficus tree grunting out a chicken nugget steamer into their pee-laden diapers.  Or…is that just my two-year-old?  We bought the tiny potty, we’ve read the books, we’ve tried getting him comfortable around it, and I’ve showed him daily how to pee in the potty or outside on a bush.  However, Max is afraid of his poop and feels grossed out when it happens.  Then last night happened.

As I was picking up diapers for our baby, Dodge, last night at the store I saw a Spider-Man Toilet Seat for kids.  On a whim…I grabbed it along with some stickers, a Lightning McQueen car, and some cork board.  My plan was to create a potty chart in the bathroom with goals for attempts and successes Max could track with stickers.  When enough goals and successes were met Max would get the toy.  Then up would go a new toy and a new chart.  Seems simple enough.  With my arms full of potty training incentives…my cell phone rang.  On the other end of the line was my wife and kids shouting wildly about something exciting that had just happened…as it ironically turned out, Max had just used the potty for the first time.

Once home I learned that Max had been taking a bath when he shouted the phrase, “Oh no…my butt!!!”  Usually this is when he goes and hides behind the ficus tree…but this was a bathtub…and he was naked.  Kate leapt into action and hoisted Senior Poo-Butt onto the potty where he made his first official potty.  It didn’t go great.  There were tears, he was freaked out, and not everything landed where it should land…but who cares.  He made a poo-poo on the potty.  Afterward he was scared that he would be in trouble and insisted that Kate not tell me.  ”Don’t tell Dada!”  That made me a little sad that he thinks I would be upset…but there was clearly only one thing to do.

Throw a Poo-Poo Potty Party!!!

There was music, cartoons, a cupcake, high-fives, staying up late, extra books, and tons of encouragement and congratulations.  It was the strangest party I have ever been to.  Max loved it.  I showed him his new Spider-Man Potty and immediately he wanted to sit on it and give it a try.  To our surprise…he used it right away and took care of a little more business!  This morning he tried again and it is the topic of much excited conversation in our household right now!  Nothing like having my morning coffee while my son details his poop escapades.  It is strange that he has learned to swim and to use the potty all in the same week…I guess he’s just ready.  Like I said with swimming, all you can do with kids is teach them the tools and when they are ready…they will start using them.  The hardest part is teaching myself patience.  I am not a patient man.  However, there are many sticker-chart-filled days ahead of us in the bathroom so I better find some more patience or I could make Max afraid of the potty.  So roll out the red carpet, toss a candle in a cupcake, and flip on the cartoons.  Its Poo-Poo Potty Party Time!

A very happy Max with his brand new Spider-Man Potty Seat!

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A Bad Poem: “Opinion Day”

Hooray!  Hooray for opinion day!

A day to say what you think today.

I was asked what mine was yesterday,

But the answer I gave was not okay.

When asked for your thought,

Ask yourself whether or not,

The person requesting can take it or not.

If you just want to hear what you already think,

Ask a bird, or a wall, or the kitchen sink.

A chirp, a drip, or nothing at all,

Perhaps the best advice came from the wall.

It neither agrees nor disagrees,

So you can continue however you please.

But if want to hear what I have to say,

Be warned that today is opinion day!

Hooray!  Hooray for opinion day!

A day to say what you think today.

Pardon me, what’s that you say?

You think I may have worn out my stay?

But today is opinion day,

And I can say what I want to say!

I’ll say things about how much I weigh,

Thanks to the things that people sauté.

I probably shouldn’t have had that soufflé,

And how can I resist bananas flambé?

I’ll say as many things as I can with an é,

Because today is a special day!

So serve up the champagne with the fillet,

For today is the day I say what I say!

Hooray!  Hooray for opinion day!

Hooray!  Hooray for opinion day!

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Teaching A Toddler To Swim

• “Jump to Dada!”
• “No running by the pool.”
• “Kick, kick, kick!”
• “Stay away from the deep end.”
• “You can do it!”
• “Be careful!”

Lake George 2012

All things you say and shout to a toddler at the pool.  Max, my two-year-old, loves going to his grandparent’s house to play in their yard and swim in the pool.  Pool season is back and he is a few months older…and a few months more adventurous.  We’ve been going to the YMCA all winter where they have an indoor pool so he is very familiar with water but it clearly scares him as well.  He loves being in it when it is very shallow but once it is waist-high he’s had his fun and heads for shallow waters.  This is a good thing for safety but counterproductive to teaching him to swim.  How do you teach a toddler to have a healthy fear of water at a young age while teaching him to swim?

Dodge’s 1st Swim

Memorial Day weekend we took the boys swimming and Dodge, our three-month-old, took a dip for the first time and loved it.  Max was a weirdo and only wanted to sit on the stairs with his feet in…which is fine because I don’t want to drag him into the water and make him afraid of it.  He gradually worked up to getting in and with the assistance of a life-vest felt comfortable riding piggyback on me as I paddled around.  Then I continued teaching him how he has to kick his feet to swim and move his arms.  When he started doing it while I was holding him was when I gave him some small distances to swim.  He swam from me to the stairs…about a foot which is really just jumping and coasting.  We did this a number of times till he knew what to expect and then, when he coasted to me, I took step back and there he was floating.  He panicked for a moment and dog-paddled for his life into my arms.  We all cheered and he knew he had done something cool.  So we did this a few more times till he jumped off the stairs and I didn’t catch him at all.  He was just floating next to me, dog-paddling, focused (not scared), and he turned a little and swam right to me!  It was awesome!  My son swam.

© Allison Gates

Last weekend we were back at the pool with some friends who have a four-year-old girl who Max is in awe of.  Whenever they play together he learns something new because he wants to be just like her.  She strided into the pool without any flotation device and swam to her dad.  Max thought this was amazing.  While she still needed help and the deep end was off-limits, she was fully capable of maneuvering herself around the pool.  So what did Max do?  What any boy would do around an older girl he likes…he started showing off.  He likes to jump in the pool from the side where I catch him.  I thought this would be an interesting moment to see what would happen if I didn’t catch him.

KERPLUNK!

© Allison Gates

Max cannon-balled into the pool, sank to the bottom of the shallow end, bobbed to the surface kicking his feet, and reached out for me.  I grabbed him and looked into his eyes as he cleared the water away to see if I’d spooked him or encouraged fun.  ”Again!!!”  He shouted at the top of his lungs.  Ah…fun.  We repeated this numerous times till all the adults were tired and ready to be dry.  Everyone got out of the pool except for me, Max, and his “girlfriend.”  Then it happened.  He let go of me.  He voluntarily let go of me and was floating in the water next to me kicking his feet and moving his arms the way I taught him.  He swam over to his friend with a HUGE smile on his face and showed no sign of coming back to Dada’s arms.  Max was on his own in the pool.  He swam to the deep end and back three times without ever stopping.  He played.  He figured out how to turn.  He splashed with his friend as he swam.  He swam.  He swam!  HE SWAM!

© Allison Gates

In the end I had to drag him from the pool.  He’s a fish.  I don’t have any pictures because I was too busy swimming alongside him, cheering him on, and soaking up the moment.  It was one of my proudest days as a papa and there was nothing that was going to take me away from experiencing that moment with my son.  That night Max and I talked endlessly about it at bedtime.  I said, “Did you have fun swimming with Dada?”  Max honestly replied, “No, I swam all by myself.”  I knew what he meant and he was right…he swam all by his self…like a big boy.  My big boy.  So the moral to the story I guess is you teach kids the skills they need and then patiently wait for them to use them when they are ready.  I’ve been teaching Max to swim for over a year and he did it on Saturday.  It was when he was ready.  Patience.  <sigh>  There seems to be a lot of rewards for this “patience” thing…I need to learn to use it more often.  Also, kids learn more from other kids so get them together as often as possible.  Who knows what baby Dodge will learn from his big brother Max as they get older.

“Dodge Shark”…the next swimming Gates.

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Toddler Afraid Of The Dark

Max, my two-year-old, has been a champ when it comes to sleeping and eating.  He’ll eat anything you put in front of him and he has a specific routine for naps and bedtime that he sticks to pretty well.  Till recently.  Over the past few weeks he has started prolonging his bedtime routine more and more by asking for longer baths, more books, extra kisses, and more cuddles.  How do you say no to more kisses and cuddles?  At first I didn’t…then it became par for the course and the words, “One last kiss?” (albeit adorable) became the bane of my 7:30 PM hour.  Then, the issue revealed it’s head a few weeks ago.

As a toddler Max struggles to find the words required when he is mad, frustrated or scared.  The floodgate of words that pours out of his mouth at dinner when he makes a convincing argument for more juice instead of milk suddenly becomes dammed when you ask him why he threw the Legos down the stairs at the cat.  “I ju wha ta mee no Lego a ssstair mmpff cat.”  Huh?  This same style of speech is what I am greeted with in the middle of the night when he calls out to me or wails.  He can’t verbalize what is wrong.  So you have to interrogate him and figure out which “yesses” are real and which ones are just him saying “yes.”

ME: “What’s a matter buddy?

MAX: “Max mmmm ay a mm ark.”

ME: “You’re mmmm ay a mm ark?”

MAX: “No, I’m a hay a ark.”

ME: “You’re afraid of the dark?”

MAX: “Yeah, Max is afraid of the dark.”

ME: “Okay, what are you afraid of?”

MAX: “The dark.”

ME: “Right, is it the camera?”

MAX: “Yeah.”

ME: “Is it the turtle?

MAX: “Yeah.”

ME: “Is it the running chainsaw in the corner?”

MAX: “Yeah.”

ME: “Is it the airplane?”

MAX: “Yeah.”

So…clearly there is no running chainsaw in the corner…so what is Max afraid of?  The dark, yes…I know.  Every night when I tuck him in he has become increasingly obsessed with the camera in the corner of his room.  It is a wireless network camera that has been fantastic!  We put him to bed, then log into it via our phone or iPad, and can go across the street to a friend’s house and still have eyes and ears on him.  Pretty sweet.  At least it was till now.  Now, in Max’s imagination, it is a creature in the dark waiting to pounce him.  It has one green light to indicate it is on and when it is dark there are four infrared lights so it can see in the dark.  It became quickly obvious that this was what had him spooked the most…so I took it off the wall this week.  While this helped, Max was still afraid of the dark so we have implemented new pieces to assist with his going to bed:

1. He has a rocket ship nightlight on right next to his bed.
2. He has a glowing turtle that puts stars on the ceiling for 20 minutes.
3. We leave the hallway light on.
4. We open his closet and turn the closet light on if need be.
5. We gave him a special flashlight he sleeps with.

Last night I found out that if you sneak into his room in the middle of the night and take the flashlight away, turn it off, and put it on the shelf…Max knows…even in his sleep.  Without opening his eyes or fully waking up he began to cry and toss around the bed.  I snuck back in to his room, turned on the flashlight, and placed it in his hand.  Conk!  Night, night.  I can vividly remember being scared to death of the dark when I was little and hating the Cookie Monster puppet that sat on my shelf in my room.  I loved Cookie Monster by day but at night…those eyes…always watching me.  Creepy.  I’d cry for my Dad who would come and take Cookie away and kiss me goodnight.  I liked having the curtains open so I could see the street light outside my window.  Kate slept with the closet light on when we started dating a decade ago.  The dark can be spooky.

In the next few months Max will move into the “Big Boy Room” so Dodge can have the nursery.  The camera will go back up so we can spy on Dodge but his stay in the nursery will be very short as we want them to share a room together as soon as Dodge is sleeping through the night.  I think I am going to need to come up with some fun energy efficient lighting options for the boy’s room once the theme is decided on.  If it is “Fire Engine Bunk Beds” then I will add in lights they can activate with buttons and such.  If it is “Rocket Ship Beds In Space” then I will add LED consoles and maybe some LED stars for a night light.  Either way…who knows what kids will be afraid of once the lights go off.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get my chainsaw back from Max’s room.

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Learning To Swim On Memorial Day

Max Swims in Lake George (2012)

My wife, Kate, and I are both water people so we try to get our kids as comfortable as possible with pools, lakes, and oceans.  I spent my summers in the pristine waters of Lake George in the Adirondacks of New York State, so being landlocked in Wichita, KS can be difficult at times…though we do visit the lake for 2-3 weeks every summer.  While Kate is from Iowa, she was a competitive swimmer and she is clearly happiest when bobbing up and down in the ocean…just like her father.  My folks have a pool in their backyard and since Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer it was time to get both boys in the water and enjoy this American holiday to the fullest of its potential.

Baby Max back in 2011

Max, our two-year-old, had no problem getting in once he was convinced it was cooler than the stick he was playing with by the trees.  He was finally big enough to wear a life-vest that fit him properly and therefore be a bit more adventurous in the water.  It took a little time but before I knew it he was jumping into the pool without fear and into my arms.  What has changed since last summer is his comfort level and self-reliance so I don’t have to hold on to him non-stop…he holds on to me.  After a few lessons on how to hold on to Dada without choking me he was just chilling in the water next to me…floating.  He then jumped on my back and asked me to be a dolphin.  I kindly obliged and we laughed for over an hour as we swam around the pool splashing, jumping, diving, and swimming.  It was a FANTASTIC father and son moment…the kind you dream about when you first hear your wife is pregnant…the kind you think will never come when they are babies.  It was possibly my most favorite time with my son Max to date.

Dodge’s 1st Swim

Next we put Dodge, our three-month-old, in the water and he just thought it was a big bath.  No complaints, happy as can be, and just smiling all the way.  I swear…kids are not this easy…we just got two really calm, happy children who will most likely drive us to the brink of insanity later in life when the Devil instigates their teenage yearnings.

Speaking of instigating…I am one of those dads who is constantly pushing my kids to try stuff.  I didn’t want Max to fall out of his comfort zone but I also wanted him to have a healthy fear of deep water at this age and learn to respect it.  Last year this meant letting him slip on the steps and fall under water for a moment or two before helping him back up.  He quickly learned to recover and stopped running on the steps.  This year we did it again and he recovered right away and wasn’t scared at all.  So I got this crazy thought to see what would happen if I slowly worked on getting him to let go of me and swim on his own.  We had been working on “kick, kick, kick!” since last summer so he knows he has to use his legs and arms to swim…he just sinks like a rock.  However, now he was wearing a life vest that fit.  We did a few passes at swimming about 2-3 feet from me to the steps and then back to me.  I slowly moved back and eventually there he was…floating in a small span of water with nothing on all sides of him, kicking his feet, nervously smiling, and swimming to Dada.  Not coasting on the inertia from leaping…but swimming.  Full on little boy doggy-paddle swimming.  Freaking…AMAZING!

Dry, dry, dry!

We all got toweled off and headed home where Max and I played in the backyard well past his bedtime where he pretends to be me.  He shouts, “Okay, I gotta go to work,” then he kisses me on the cheek, hops on his scooter, and rides it over to the fence and back.  Then he gets off the scooter and announces, “I’m here!”  I asked him what he does at work and he replied, “Stuff.”  Sounds about right.  Kate put Dodge to sleep, Max and I took a shower to wash the chlorine off, and then brushed our teeth together before crawling into bed for books and tuck-tucks.  Then…two exhausted parents plunked down on the couch and the exhaustion hit us like a fright train.

Asleep On Dada

Memorial Day was exhausting…but it was amazing!  I took my baby Dodge into the water for the first time in his life and I taught my toddler Max how to swim without any help.  Earlier in the day Max fell asleep on my chest like he used to when he was a baby…and instead of moving him to his bed I held him tight and took a nap with him.  I got to watch my amazing employees play kickball and bond over a day off, creating stories they’ll laugh about for years to come.  On the drive home from the pool my wife Kate said, “I don’t want to cook or clean anything…can we just go to Freddy’s on the way home?”  Why not?  To see the look on Max’s face when I brought a brownie sundae to the table after he ate his hot dog was priceless.  It was such a great day.  So I’d like to thank all of those brave men and women who have served in the past, given their lives, sacrificed so much so we can have our freedoms.  I took full advantage of those freedoms Monday and made memories with my family that will last a lifetime.  Thank you for reminding me what Memorial Day is about.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been more family…but we’ll see them all soon enough for the 4th of July.  If grilling hot dogs, drinking American beer, and splashing in a pool isn’t patriotic enough…I got this picture from my parents who are traveling through Europe right now.  They spent Memorial Day at Omaha Beach in Normandy, France.  Pretty amazing.  Can’t wait to see them and Kate’s folks to show them how their grandson can swim.  God Bless America and the people who have preserved its freedoms.  Thank you.

My parents at the Omaha Beach Memorial in Normandy, France on Memorial Day

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