When Babies Start Talking

After three months of being an adorable meat-pile of cuteness our 3-month-old, Dodge, has started exploring his voice.  It started last week as he was laying on his blanket and staring up at a mobile…a small grunt…then a sigh…then a babble, a coo, and a menagerie of noises and sounds began to flow from him.  He is beginning his long journey to learn to communicate with the world through speech.  It seems like yesterday our 2-year-old Max was laying on the bed of our old apartment grasping a teething ring while grunting out sighs for the very first time.  Now?  Max is a non-stop flow of sentences and sounds that seem to have no end.  As the saying goes…

You spend the first few years of their lives teaching them to walk and talk, then the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and shut up.

Since learning this new skill, Dodge wants to show it off all the time such as 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM, and so on.  He also has his first tooth coming in so he’s quite good at the fussing and crying sounds as well.  It is both an exciting time and an exhausting time in our household.  One of the things I learned from a friend the first time around is that right when you think you can’t take something anymore like 2 AM feedings, teething, etc., that phase ends and the next one begins.  So you get relief and discover a new frustration all at the same time.  With Max I was so happy when he slept through the night and got his teeth in that I can hardly remember how it came to be that he evolved from grunt to, “I love you Dada.”  So grunt away Dodge…Daddy is listening.

I wonder what his first word will be?  Anyone remember Max’s?  I do.

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The Meaning Of Father’s Day

When I was little I remember Father’s Day meaning my dad would sleep in, we’d make breakfast in bed for him, give him cards, and then he’d watch golf all day while my sister and I went off and did whatever we’d normally do.  I would always ask why there wasn’t a Kid’s Day?  My mother would tell me, “Every day is Kid’s Day.”  I don’t think I really understood that till yesterday when I got the real deal Father’s Day for the first time.  I celebrated this holiday when Max was a baby, then when he was 1, but yesterday…2-year-old Max, 3-month-old Dodge, and my wife Kate, and my parents taught me the true meaning of Father’s Day.

I woke up to tiny morning-breath in my face.  Max, my two-year-old, was pretty much standing on top of me waiting for me to wake up.  I sleepily opened my eyes and Max blurted out the words Kate had instructed him to say, “Happy Father’s Day!”  I thanked him and pulled him in for a hug which also came with a morning-breath kiss.  Kate and Dodge brought me breakfast in bed where the four of us sat and watched cartoons together as Max became more and more hyperactive.  Max gave me a homemade giraffe he had made at summer school, dodge coo’d and smiled in my arms, and Kate made everything easy.

I then moved downstairs where I claimed the entire couch to myself and filled the TV with SportsCenter, movies with explosions, and Discovery Channel mockumentary about mermaids.  I napped as well.  Food was brought to me, kids were kept at a distance so I could sleep, and things were fantastically relaxing.  Max decided he was going to be ROBOT MAX for the day (he places a colored box over his head and says “ROBOT MAX” to everything) which is great because you can give him commands and he will execute his duties…he also takes tiny steps and is easy to chase if need be.  If he takes off running it usually ends abruptly with him going box first into a wall or inanimate object.  I love ROBOT MAX.

The afternoon was spent at my parent’s house where family play-time was bountiful.  ”Papa Doo & G.G.,” as the grand kids call them, have toys that are kept at their house so it is like a reunion every time they go over.  Plus there is the pool…and let me tell you, I think Max might be a fish!  For the past few weekends since summer arrived in Kansas we have been working on Max at the pool.  While he enjoyed the zero depth pool at the YMCA, he has been deathly afraid of any water higher than his waist…till recently.  Once I found the right life vest for him that fit him the way he liked…he began spending more time aquatic than on land.  This is fine with me as I am a water person!

With Max clearly comfortable in the pool I have started working on skills he can use at the lake this summer as well as rules.  The rules are simple:

• You must wear a life vest if you are by the pool
• No running no matter what by the pool
• No getting in the water without an adult

The skills we have been working on are jumping in the water and how to swim.  Swimming is easy in the pool where there are no waves but in the lake there is always some motion and our bay tends to swirl slightly causing everything to drift to the west…like a current.  Max is good at using his legs but hasn’t quite mastered the arms part of the doggy-paddle which he’ll need to navigate the waters of Lake George.  He has become fantastic about jumping in from the side of the pool to my arms and can easily get in and out from the steps…but there are no steps at the lake and the height from the dock to the water is a bit higher.  So I taught Max how to go up and down the ladder in the pool and to jump to me from the diving board.  Pretty awesome for a 2-year-old!

Shortly after that video, Max dove head-first into the water from the diving board and I started teaching him how to dive.  He is fearless.  The other great thing is that he is comfortable swimming in the deep end which is great since the lake is about 6 feet deep off our dock and about 15 feet at the raft.  My biggest fear is him having no fear of the water so at the end of every swimming session I have him take off the vest and step into the pool to me.  He sinks like a rock to the bottom without the life vest and comes scrambling to the top with his arms going and his feet kicking.  I give him a second to recover before he is about to go under again, then I grab him and scoop him up in my arms where we talk about our water safety rules and why we always wear a vest by the water.

That night we had a feast.  Peter Luger’s steaks on the grill, dining outside, my boys, my dad, my family…it was great!  I got my dad two goofy cards and a submersible iPhone case like the one used to record the videos above of Max.  Dodge sat in my lap and smiled at me as we drank fine wine and talked about the world.  Then, my dad gave me the look.  I know this look well.  I love this look.  It’s the look that means, “Night swim?”  I nodded back and we slowly snuck away from the table and cleaning duties.  It was our day…why not.  Three generations of boys climbed into the pool as the stars lit up the sky and the water cooled our bodies.  It was perfect.

Its true…every day of the year is “Kid’s Day.”  Yesterday was my favorite Father’s Day with my dad because we got to share the experience together.  I remember him teaching me to swim, playing games with me, and also how we gave him some time off to just relax.  I thought Father’s Day was just about the relaxing part…but after my morning of napping I got itchy feet and wanted to do something fun with my kids.  I wanted to feel like a dad on Father’s Day.  There is no finer feeling than having fun with your child and feeling them hug you.  As I tucked Max in to bed 2 hours past his bedtime he told me, unprompted, that he loved me.  He looked me right in the eyes and said, “I love you Dada.”  Nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.  I squeezed him tight and asked if he had a fun Father’s Day?  He said, “Yup, let’s do it again tomorrow.”  I explained it was once a year and then I asked him a question I should have asked when the day began, “Max, do you know what Father means?”  He had no idea.  I explained that “Father” is another word for “Dada.”  He replied, “…and Mama is the other father.”  No,” I explained, “Mama is the mother.”  You could see him realize what Mother’s Day had been all about and what Father’s Day meant.  He hugged me once more and whispered in my ear, “I love you Dada…Mama’s my sweetheart.”  I called Kate into the room and asked him to repeat what he had just said and he did, “You’re my sweetheart Mama.”  Best feeling ever!!!  There is no better feeling than knowing your child loves you…but hearing it means all the world.

Mom…Dad…I love you.  I know you have taken on the roles of being grandparents to my and my sister’s kids but you will always be our parents.  Mom, you are MY sweetheart.  Dad, I will always go night swimming with you.  I love you both and I can’t thank you enough for spending my childhood teaching me how to be a parent now.  I am simply following your example and in return…my sons love me.  Thank you.  Happy Father’s Day.  Happy Mother’s Day.  Every day is kids day…but it should be Parent’s Day.  I love you.

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Learning To Swim On Memorial Day

Max Swims in Lake George (2012)

My wife, Kate, and I are both water people so we try to get our kids as comfortable as possible with pools, lakes, and oceans.  I spent my summers in the pristine waters of Lake George in the Adirondacks of New York State, so being landlocked in Wichita, KS can be difficult at times…though we do visit the lake for 2-3 weeks every summer.  While Kate is from Iowa, she was a competitive swimmer and she is clearly happiest when bobbing up and down in the ocean…just like her father.  My folks have a pool in their backyard and since Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer it was time to get both boys in the water and enjoy this American holiday to the fullest of its potential.

Baby Max back in 2011

Max, our two-year-old, had no problem getting in once he was convinced it was cooler than the stick he was playing with by the trees.  He was finally big enough to wear a life-vest that fit him properly and therefore be a bit more adventurous in the water.  It took a little time but before I knew it he was jumping into the pool without fear and into my arms.  What has changed since last summer is his comfort level and self-reliance so I don’t have to hold on to him non-stop…he holds on to me.  After a few lessons on how to hold on to Dada without choking me he was just chilling in the water next to me…floating.  He then jumped on my back and asked me to be a dolphin.  I kindly obliged and we laughed for over an hour as we swam around the pool splashing, jumping, diving, and swimming.  It was a FANTASTIC father and son moment…the kind you dream about when you first hear your wife is pregnant…the kind you think will never come when they are babies.  It was possibly my most favorite time with my son Max to date.

Dodge’s 1st Swim

Next we put Dodge, our three-month-old, in the water and he just thought it was a big bath.  No complaints, happy as can be, and just smiling all the way.  I swear…kids are not this easy…we just got two really calm, happy children who will most likely drive us to the brink of insanity later in life when the Devil instigates their teenage yearnings.

Speaking of instigating…I am one of those dads who is constantly pushing my kids to try stuff.  I didn’t want Max to fall out of his comfort zone but I also wanted him to have a healthy fear of deep water at this age and learn to respect it.  Last year this meant letting him slip on the steps and fall under water for a moment or two before helping him back up.  He quickly learned to recover and stopped running on the steps.  This year we did it again and he recovered right away and wasn’t scared at all.  So I got this crazy thought to see what would happen if I slowly worked on getting him to let go of me and swim on his own.  We had been working on “kick, kick, kick!” since last summer so he knows he has to use his legs and arms to swim…he just sinks like a rock.  However, now he was wearing a life vest that fit.  We did a few passes at swimming about 2-3 feet from me to the steps and then back to me.  I slowly moved back and eventually there he was…floating in a small span of water with nothing on all sides of him, kicking his feet, nervously smiling, and swimming to Dada.  Not coasting on the inertia from leaping…but swimming.  Full on little boy doggy-paddle swimming.  Freaking…AMAZING!

Dry, dry, dry!

We all got toweled off and headed home where Max and I played in the backyard well past his bedtime where he pretends to be me.  He shouts, “Okay, I gotta go to work,” then he kisses me on the cheek, hops on his scooter, and rides it over to the fence and back.  Then he gets off the scooter and announces, “I’m here!”  I asked him what he does at work and he replied, “Stuff.”  Sounds about right.  Kate put Dodge to sleep, Max and I took a shower to wash the chlorine off, and then brushed our teeth together before crawling into bed for books and tuck-tucks.  Then…two exhausted parents plunked down on the couch and the exhaustion hit us like a fright train.

Asleep On Dada

Memorial Day was exhausting…but it was amazing!  I took my baby Dodge into the water for the first time in his life and I taught my toddler Max how to swim without any help.  Earlier in the day Max fell asleep on my chest like he used to when he was a baby…and instead of moving him to his bed I held him tight and took a nap with him.  I got to watch my amazing employees play kickball and bond over a day off, creating stories they’ll laugh about for years to come.  On the drive home from the pool my wife Kate said, “I don’t want to cook or clean anything…can we just go to Freddy’s on the way home?”  Why not?  To see the look on Max’s face when I brought a brownie sundae to the table after he ate his hot dog was priceless.  It was such a great day.  So I’d like to thank all of those brave men and women who have served in the past, given their lives, sacrificed so much so we can have our freedoms.  I took full advantage of those freedoms Monday and made memories with my family that will last a lifetime.  Thank you for reminding me what Memorial Day is about.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been more family…but we’ll see them all soon enough for the 4th of July.  If grilling hot dogs, drinking American beer, and splashing in a pool isn’t patriotic enough…I got this picture from my parents who are traveling through Europe right now.  They spent Memorial Day at Omaha Beach in Normandy, France.  Pretty amazing.  Can’t wait to see them and Kate’s folks to show them how their grandson can swim.  God Bless America and the people who have preserved its freedoms.  Thank you.

My parents at the Omaha Beach Memorial in Normandy, France on Memorial Day

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Oh Brother!

The Gates Boys

When my wife Kate and I learned we’d be having another baby boy we were ecstatic…what could be more fun than brothers?  Max had set the bar pretty high by being pretty stinkin’ cute (and well-behaved) so when Dodge was born on March 1st we were elated to see we had successfully made another good-looking kid.  Two kids in diapers is crazy, and my wife may kill me one of these days if I play golf while she’s home alone with the two of them, but you can see how very soon Max will be the little helper and big brother.

Holding Hands

We celebrated Max being a big brother right away so he didn’t feel shunned by the addition of Dodge to our family.  We have constantly reinforced that he is Dodge’s big brother and needs to help out, protect him, teach him stuff, and be a good example.  There is only so much a two-year-old can do, but Max has done everything within his ability.  Max practices changing diapers on his stuffed animals so he can one day change Dodge’s, he adorns Dodge with kisses non-stop, and the other day Max helped calm Dodge in the car by shushing him and holding his hand.  Holding his hand!  What am I supposed to do with that?  I open the back door of the car and there is a two-year-old holding a two-month-old’s hand telling him “Its okay Dodge…shhhhh…back to night, night.”  Seriously…its too much cuteness!!!

Brotherly Love

Clearly at some point Max will be able to actually help out with Dodge, then they will start competing with each other, and then they will team up and rebel against Kate and I as a unified front.  I only hope that some day they will learn to mutually respect each other and get back to loving me and Kate.  I don’t expect to see them holding hands in the back seat when they’re in their 30′s and we have family reunions…but maybe they’ll drink a beer with their old dad and tell stories from back in the day.  However, I’ll always picture them as I do now…little cherubs who need me and call me “Daddy” when the monsters come out at night from the shadows of their closet.

“Its okay Max…its okay Dodge…shhhhh…back to night, night.”

My Two Boys The Day They Met

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So Long Sleeping

Two months ago I was resigned to the fact that I wasn’t going to be sleeping anymore as we were about to have our second child.  Dodge is now 7 weeks old and shockingly enough…he sleeps.  The first few nights were rough but once our little piglet got as much milk as he could handle he started conking out for a few hours during the day and a few hours at night.  Oh…my…GAWD!  This is how all kids should be!  Like when a baby giraffe is born and knows how to walk right away!  Kids should be born and just know how to sleep when mommies and daddies are tired.  So why am I not sleeping?  The two-year-old.

At still-dark-o’clock this morning Max came crying into our room begging for us to wake up and go “back downstairs.”  My first thought was “Why did we teach him how to work the door knob?”  We coerced him into bed with us where he screamed directly into my ear for a few minutes.  I couldn’t quite make out all the words through the tears but it had something to do with him wanting Mommy and not Daddy.  Being the terrible husband that I am (it’s a matching set…bad father/bad husband) I obliged by rolling over and burying my head beneath the pillow like an ostrich.  After an unknown period of not sleeping and getting kicked in the kidney Dodge woke up from all of Max’s whining cries and he started bawling.  This caused Kate to give her attention to Dodge which meant Max wasn’t the sole purpose of her life and erupted into a tantrum.  It was at this moment my alarm clock went off.

Good morning.  It’s another BEAUTIFUL day in the world of parenthood!

copyright David & Kelly Sopp

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