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Anxiety Update: 2013 In Review

4 Feb

panicIts been a while since I gave an update on my living with anxiety…and that’s a good thing, because it has become far from the front of my mind.  I wish I could go back to me having all those panic attacks two years ago when I was wondering if things would ever get “better” and show myself that they indeed would.  From a blubbering mess who was afraid to leave the house to a guy who lives with it pretty well.  If (10) is living with constant anxiety about everything and (0) is living with no fear of anything in the world…I think I’m at about a (3) right now.  Maybe a (4) some days.  However, I’ve come to realize that a constant state of (o) is unreal and/or boring.  I think I spent most of my life around (1-2) with spikes to around (6) every now and then…then one day.  Bam!  (10).  After that I spent so much time working to get back to (0) that I didn’t realize that (3) is pretty healthy.

I have good days and I have bad days…but the bad days aren’t as bad as they used to be.  Good days used to mean that I coped with it well and hid my fear.  Now, good days are just good days.  Bad days used to mean I had to put my head down, close the door, and get lost in something at work to forget about the world around me.  That certainly can still happen every now and then but for the most part…bad days mean I recognize palpable anxiety.  What is palpable anxiety?  It is anxiety that exists for an understandable reason like deadlines at work, lack of sleep from the baby, and emotional hardships.

This month I will be tackling a few things I added to my “Never Again” list two years ago such as…

  • Flying on a plane alone
  • Staying in a hotel without my wife
  • Giving a speech in front of a crowd

There are other things…but those are the ones I am looking forward to the most while also being slightly anxious about them.  I spent my life as a very independent person and racked up thousands of miles flying, millions of points at hotels, and spoke to countless crowds and taught classes.  Then I had a panic attack and turned my wife into a safety blanket.  Since then, I have forced myself to do things I was afraid of and in return my mind has given me the gift of growing confidence.  That’s how I work.  When I was little I was afraid of heights and would get vertigo, so I climbed the roof of the house and sat on the top of the chimney till I didn’t feel weird.  I did this every day till being up high just felt natural.  So…now I’m afraid of being too far away from my wife or the safety of my home – so I force myself to challenge myself.  The result?

  • I went to the NCAA Final Four with my family
  • I went to World Series (1 game without my wife)
  • I have been speaking in front of small groups
At The World Series

At The World Series

Its weird…but the sports teams I root for have really done wonders for my well being and forced me to either get off my butt and experience history -or- miss it due to anxiety.  Its a great time to be a fan of Wichita State…but its the best for me because it has given me many opportunities to get past my fears.  A post for another time.  Basically, I feel like I’m on the winning side of the battle.  I’ve stopped putting timelines on things, setting unrealistic goals, and talking myself out of living life to the fullest.  I still have anxiety and still have bad days…but those are merely skirmishes and I’m looking at the war.  I’m scared to fly alone, I’m more scared to be in a different city than my wife for a few days, and speaking in front of the crowd?  Who isn’t?  Those are palpable anxiety moments.  I cannot fail…because there is no such thing as failure.  To try…to want to try…that is to succeed.  So, to my readers who battle anxiety and ask themselves that terrible doubting question, “Will things ever be normal again?”  No.  Things will be better – but only if you try to make it better.

My three-year-old Max asked me if “brave” means “not being scared.”  I told him, “Brave is being scared but having the courage to try.”  I’m trying to be a good father and husband, among other things.

Cheering for the Wichita State Shockers with my family!

Cheering for the Wichita State Shockers with my family!

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Anxiety And Vulnerability

28 Aug

anxiety-cycleFor a little over a year I have battled with anxiety from a panic attack last June.  At first it seemed like the attack came from nowhere which meant it could come from nowhere again.  Next it seemed like things would never be the same again which meant that hope was gone for the future.  Then I realized how I’d been living with anxiety my whole life but had not properly confronted it…it wasn’t until after I chose to take on a job in corporate America in order to start a family that it all came to a head.  It boiled over.  Since then I have undergone therapy both in the traditional sense of talking with a therapist about my fears and the non-traditional sense of sharing my thoughts publicly online here…a place I had thought would be a home for the comedies of my 30′s.  While fear can be funny the way I tell it, and I do try to find humor in everything, I struggled hard in 2012 and began to lose my humor and just focused on surviving and “getting back to normal.”

994881_10151612189538087_1778498227_nThen, in 2013 something very odd happened.  The billing department at my therapist’s screwed up and charged me for thousands more than what was due.  I was not allowed to schedule a new appointment till my balance was paid.  In a few weeks we had successfully corrected the error by the billing department and I was invited back with great apologies…but I realized I had gone weeks without therapy and felt fine.  I had turned the corner.  I have not sought therapy since and with every day I have grown stronger and felt better.  It has been months.  When anxiety shows up I challenge it and live my life.  I felt “better.”  I began to ask myself if I still needed to take my medication or not, which truthfully is such a low dose that it’s effects are most likely a mental crutch more than physical need.  A beta blocker in the morning and a low-dose anti-anxiety pill at night.

When I renewed my prescription this last time, the words “Need A Doctor’s Appointment” were on the label.  Meaning…I needed to go back to the doctor and have him evaluate if I needed the medication any more.  The minute it became a reality that I may not need them any more was the moment I needed them the most.  That was when my anxiety levels started rising again – about two weeks ago.  Then…Tuesday…I got all freaked out again for seemingly no reason and I confessed to my wife Kate that I was feeling anxious and had not been sharing it with her because I wanted her to feel like she could rely on me.  I wanted her to think I was “better.”  I immediately felt worse and better at the same time.  I went back to work not knowing what I should do and forcing myself to breathe and calm myself down though I felt like at any point I might lose my grip on the Earth and fly off into the universe.  I emailed Kate, “I’d like to see a therapist again.”  I told her I needed to start exploring the WHY not the HOW.  I had reached out for help.  Phew!

daringgreatly_final525-resized-600Kate replied with the simplest gesture that made my day so much better.  For the past few weeks she has been trying to tell me about a book she is reading that I have brushed off as a “self-help book.”  I hate self-help books and will stick to my fiction, action-thrillers thank you very much.  What she had been trying to tell me about was this woman Brené Brown and her book “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.”  Ugh…self-help book for sure.  However, I’m a sucker for TED Talks and she sent me the video of  Brené Brown which brightened my day and started pulling the tears from me that I was storing inside for a rainy day.  The ideas are simple…obvious…yet so hard to fathom at the same time.  Vulnerability is what (so I’m told) has made this blog engaging to many of my readers.  My brutal honesty.  However, am I that way in life?  I believe I am with my wife and friends (mostly), I know I am not with my children, and I am caught between who I am and who I want to be in my professional career.  I am a creative thinker who thrives on unconventionalism, making people uncomfortable, and earning my pay-dirt with my hands in the field among the comradery of those who would follow me to battle in film, production, and event management.  Who do I want to be?  I want to be like my dad.  So…here I am behind this desk, wearing slacks with my shirt tucked in, driving a car with airbags, working late on marketing and advertising projects, and being a positive role model for my kids.  I am happy doing this because I know the rewards grow with time, I am good at it, and now that I have children I feel the need to take less risks in life for their sake…but I like risks.  I like betting it all on black!  I want another tattoo…one that people see every day and isn’t covered up by a polo shirt.  I want to put my earrings back in.  I want to build the back porch I’ve been planning for over two years.  I want to turn off my cell phone and go hide in the mountains for weeks again like I did when I graduated college.  I want to spend as much time as possible submerged in Lake George.  I want to be alone in the woods of the Adirondacks where my ancestors are from…i want to stand there in the snow and listen to the sound of the snowflakes landing on dry leaves.  I want to be afraid of bears, thin ice, and falling trees…not deadlines, finances, and responsibility.  I want my muscles to ache from shoveling, walking, lifting, and carrying…not sitting and staring at a screen as my eye-sight goes bad.

1943_56825913834_6633_nLuckily, I got to do those things so I don’t feel like I missed out.  I also live the way I do now out of choice not circumstance.  I don’t feel trapped.  I just feel slightly numb.  Maybe its the lack of sleep from having a new baby?  Maybe its the clonazepam?  Maybe its just me getting older…like everyone else.  Either way, this video my wife sent me spoke to me.  If you’re reading this maybe you’re looking for something to speak to you too.  It’s about connections…how we humans are built for making connections with each other and places.  It’s about vulnerability…and letting go of control.  It’s about chaos…the birthplace of all things.  It made me laugh…because everything makes me laugh…because life is funny when you think about it.  I’m lucky to have the connections I have, to be able to be vulnerable, and to accept who I am…even if every now and then I try to be someone I’m not.  I know who I am…I just have to remember to be me in the things I do and not try to be anyone else.  I have to stop worrying what people think of me.

Well…  This got somber in a hurry…  Two cows are sitting in a field, one says to the other, “So…how about this Mad Cow Disease? Its pretty scary stuff right?” The other cow nods in agreements and replies, “Very scary…but what do I know, I’m a helicopter.”

That’s better.  So, all you helicopters…here is a video that my wife sent me that made me smile.  Hope you smile too…you’re beautiful just the way you are.

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Vacation With Children

2 Aug

“Vacation With Children.”  I think that is an oxymoron.

Dodge and DadaIt has been over a month since my last post, and to my constant readers I apologize for the gap.  We took the family on vacation…a long vacation.  For my new readers, please mind the gap.  I had intended to write while away, but when faced with the option of either writing a post or spending time with my family on vacation I chose family.  In June we were preparing to travel with a two-year-old (Max) and a four-month-old (Dodge) for a multi-destination trip that included a road trip, a water park, family in Iowa, a wedding, 4 flights, and 3 magical weeks boating and swimming on Lake George in the Adirondacks of New York.  Normally this would be a tough one to pack for but then I thought, “Wait…we have kids…we’re not going out anywhere.”  So I packed a nice suit for the wedding, some tee shirts, a swimsuit, and flip-flops.  Turns out I still managed to over pack.

Max runs to DadaThe 8 hour drive to Kate’s hometown in Iowa was a breeze as we split it up by stopping off at a little hotel with an indoor water park in St. Joseph, MO.  This split the trip in half, allowed us to leave the night of July 2nd, and gave Max an activity that wore him out in the morning.  I don’t deny it…I had a blast going down the slides and splashing in the water as well.  We rolled into town on July 3rd, changed from pants to shorts, and did not leave the back porch till Saturday, July 6th.  The entire time was spent catching up with my bothers and sisters (in-law) as well as Kate’s family, all of whom…I adore!  Beers were tipped, stories were told, and stories were made.  Max played with all his cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and anyone else who could withstand his running tackle.  Dodge was happily passed around like an hors d’oeuvre at a fancy dinner party.  Life was good.

Max is ready for the weddingSaturday we made the short drive across state to the wedding where Kate’s cousin Laura got married at Iowa State and the partying continued/grew.  Old friends were embraced, games were played, speeches were made, and Max danced till Midnight when he was drenched in sweat and falling over tired.  Dodge is a baby and wherever we are is where he wants to be.  We are home.  So he got passed around till he was sleepy and then went to bed in his car seat at the back of the ballroom where it was quieter.  Suffering from anxiety (as I do) it took some work to get my mind of the fear of flying the next day and to focus on the fun at hand.  Once I did (with a little help from Jack Daniels) I was ready to roll.

Van Steenhuyse Photo Booth

Flying with kids sucks.  It just does.  At the Des Moines airport I entered looking more like a Sherpa than a parent.

  • 2 suitcases
  • 1 backpack
  • 1 oversized beach bag
  • 1 stroller
  • 1 car seat
  • 1 stuffed animal named “Muffin”
  • 1 toddler
  • 1 baby

Sherpa Dad…and a long night ahead of us including 2 flights and a long drive.  Kate and I have mastered going through security efficiently with kids and let me tell you…planning in advance what you will do makes a world of difference.  Shoes, computers, metal objects, and bottles of milk come out and go in the trays.  Phones, wallets, accessories, etc. have all already been placed in the bag before entering the security line.  The car seat and stroller are the first to go through the machine so you have a place to put the baby down on the other side.  Next comes shoes and accessories so anything that needs to be inspected can be while still waiting for the rest of your stuff to come through.  Kate takes Dodge and Max stays with me.  Next comes the computers and iPads so they are sandwiched between your items and are not picked up accidentally by another traveler frustrated by the amount of crap you have.  Last is the backpack.  I send Max through to Kate who already has Dodge back in the car seat.  I go through and my first task is unfolding the stroller and snapping the car seat into it so one child is fully contained.  Kate sits with Max and I hand her stuff to her so they can stay in one spot while I organize.  Shoes are slip ons…slip ons are crucial to traveling with kids on planes.  I gather up the iPads and computers which go back into the backpack at the same time we have put our shoes on and BAM!  We are through security (and faster than some single travelers in the other lines).  Plans are great!  Then we just have to find a spot where we can set Max free so he can burn off as much energy as possible before the flight.  Here we go!

Pre-boarding is a doubled-edged sword.  On one hand you get to take your time to settle you and your kids into your seats.  On the other hand…you are then stuck in a sweat-tube for 15 minutes with a toddler that wants to know when the plane will take off.  Are we there yet?  No.

Gates Family FliesEngines roar, flaps go up, wheels tuck inside, and Iowa disappears beneath the clouds as Dodge happily nurses and Max sits glued to the window.  My anxiety isn’t too bad so I decide not to take the Lorazepam I have with me just in case and sit back and relax.  Then it hits me…a simple thought that changes everything in how I perceive the next three weeks.  “I get to spend time with my boys.”  Now I know that doesn’t sound profound but up until that point I was stressing about traveling, if Max would sleep in a different bed, how I would handle my anxiety away from home for a month, etc.  My mind stopped worrying and started looking forward to all the things that could happen…fun things.  Boating, swimming, hiking, cuddles, sleeping in…  That was right about the time Dodge started screaming at the top of the lungs (on a 12 row airplane) and didn’t stop till an hour later when we were on the ground.  It turned out Kate and I (well…I) were more upset than our fellow travelers who were almost all parents and had been through it with their kids.  Dodge had never screamed like this before so it gave us a good scare.

Flying With KidsIn the Detroit airport the look of exhaustion and defeat must have been written all over my face as I kept getting the stink-eye from everyone we passed in the terminal.  “One short flight to go, one short flight to go, one short flight to go…” I kept telling myself over and over again in my head.  Then…they started canceling all the flights.  All of them.  Some super storm was pounding New York state and it was almost 11 o’clock at night.  I ran to our gate and spoke to the pilot…no…pleaded with him to take a shot at getting us to Albany.  He said there was a window of opportunity and he felt we should be fine.  It was a small window.  As the little plane climbed through the clouds lightning crashed all around us and jostled the plane heavily.  Max asked if it was fireworks and I told it was, but it was past his bedtime and he needed to go to sleep.  He laid his head on my lap, I nervously looked out the window, and Dodge slept happily having tuckered himself out from the previous flight and receivied a dose of infant acetaminophen.  When the plane touched down in Albany I mustered the strength for the hour-long drive up to the lake house and it breezed by in what seemed like minutes.  We made it.

Gates Family SwimFor 3 weeks the weather was perfect…I think it rained twice and I swam every day.  The lake was 82 degrees at its warmest and 76 at its coldest.  Max was amazing, Jake (my 8-year-old nephew) has become a man-child, and Dodge…Dodge didn’t transition well.  Dodge slept the first two nights from exhaustion of flying and then on the third night he screamed from 7 PM – 1 AM.  SCREAMED!  Then passed out.  He repeated this for three more nights and I learned a valuable lesson:  Don’t vent on Facebook.   When a kid screams (and they will), the best thing you can do is put them down and go scream into a pillow, hit a wall, take a break, or do whatever you need to do to calm down.  I vented on Facebook and just let the hateful words I had for my son at that moment in time spill from my brain, to my fingers, to my social network.  The fallout the next day was not worth it.  While I agree that publicly posting my feelings (which were abrasive to say the least) was not the best judgement, I was upset by the reaction and words that some “friends” had for me including people legitimately fearing for my son’s life.  Many friends asked what they could do to help or offered wisdom from their experience (which I appreciated).  Others, whom I have not spoken to in years, were judgmental and condescending.  Some friends who don’t have kids (or serious relationships) chimed in with judgement which I always find absurd…how can you judge what you do not understand or have not experienced?  It was at this moment I asked myself if I wanted to keep writing So Long Freedom, if I wanted to remain friends with certain people, and if it was a good time to deactivate my Facebook account.  I realized what people perceive of me online and who I am in real life are two different things.  So I decided a vacation from writing and reading was in order.  I took my month away from writing, I blocked certain people from seeing certain posts from me on Facebook, and removed people from my circle of social media friends I did not feel I needed to stay connected with.

Max BoatingMy time at the lake house in Bolton Landing was exactly what I wanted it to be and the opposite of what it had been the previous year.  It was relaxing and I felt like I fully recharged my batteries.  Max and I swam, Dodge played in my lap, Kate and I cuddled, my nephew and I bonded, I got good work done as well, read a few books, and I just turned off my brain for a while.  It was the best summer vacation of my life.  There are too many stories to tell right now but I will try to tell them as I can over the next few weeks…or they may just be mine to know.  All and all, I left Lake George feeling like a new man, excited to get home to Wichita and start tackling life with my new mindset and recharged batteries.

“Vacation With Children.”  Maybe that is not an oxymoron?

Max Headphones PlaneThe flights home were easy and without incident.  Our day started at 3 AM to get dressed and drive to Albany for an early morning flight.  Max asked me questions about the planes and I answered, Dodge slept, and when Kate and I could keep our eyes open no longer I slapped headphones on Max and zoned him out with Sponge Bob and Dinosaur Train.  Last year I had looked to my vacation to heal my anxiety (which it did not) and when I left I felt I was being torn apart.  This time, I was ready to go home.  We arrived home shortly after lunch on Sunday, July 28th and Dodge rolled over and crawled for the first time to welcome us home!  In the month we were away Max learned everything he could from his nephew and is full of phrases I’ve never heard and is more active than ever.  Dodge went from a smiley baby to a boy and all of a sudden can hold things, roll over, and is starting to crawl.  I can’t speak for Kate’s evolution as it is her tale to tell but for me, I felt like I came to terms with my anxiety more and better accepted the role I have to play with my family.  Much like that revelation on our first flight out of Iowa, everything suddenly seemed so simple.  “I get to be Max and Dodge’s Dad…I get to be Kate’s husband…I get to have this life I have.

Life is a gift.  All it took was a panic attack, years of therapy, two kids, a patient wife, an amazing family, a 34th birthday, and a relaxing vacation to realize it!

Looking North On Lake George

Looking north on Lake George towards “The Narrows” at sunset.

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Panic Attacks: My 1 Year Anniversary

11 Jun

panicOne year ago today my life changed.  On June 11th, 2012 I had a panic attack that wouldn’t stop and sent me tumbling into depression uttering the words, “things will never be the same…” over and over and over again.  I was convinced that the terrible feeling of overwhelming anxiety that had consumed me would last forever.  I was convinced I was handicapped.  I was convinced my life would never be the same.  I was convinced I was going to die.  There were a lot of things I was convinced of at that time and only one of them was true…my life would never be the same…but not the way I thought.  I was convinced that everything was downhill from that moment on…because how could someone possible recover from an experience like the one I had.  How could things ever be normal?  How could things ever go back to the way they were?

They can’t.  They won’t.  They never will…and now I know I never want things to be like they were before.

So Long Freedom OMG!It took me a few months to stop looking at my anxiety as something that needed to be fixed and learned that it was something I needed to address.  As soon as I stopped trying to fix everything I was able to cope with it.  I had stupid timetables and goals I had set forth like how many months I’d take my medication before I stopped and got back to normal.  Back to normal.  That right there may be the worst three words I’ve ever spoken.  Were things normal before?  I thought they were but with 20/20 hindsight I am able to see that I have been living with anxiety my whole life but wasn’t addressing it…so my body forced me to see it on June 11th, 2012.  How did I not know?  How did I not know that there was all this anxiety bubbling up inside of me?  It seems so clear to me now…but again…I have 20/20 hindsight.

cutiesVery recently I started to figure out that things would never get “back to normal.”  How I was living before, though it seemed normal, was not healthy to my psyche.  I was ignoring my emotions and when they came bubbling up to the top I was freaked out by them and saw them as a physical problem.  I felt physically weird…so it made sense.  I felt “normal,” all the time and then all of a sudden I would feel woozy in my head.  After having this happen many times I started to think, “there must be something seriously wrong with me.”  Then my brain focused on this and convinced myself that when I felt woozy it could be the moments before my death.  So now I’m dying?  It might sound stupid but that’s how I think the evolution of my anxiety came about.  Since I didn’t know I was having anxiety attacks I perceived them as larger spells of me possibly dying.  That is stressful.  On June 10th I had a big anxiety attack because I had a migraine and on June 11th I told myself those terrible words, “Things will never be the same.”

So what is “normal?”  For me…”normal” meant how I felt before…but now I know that wasn’t normal.  I spent a lot of time this past year trying to get back to the way things were…but if I could…would I want to go back to being someone who isn’t in touch with the emotions inside of them self?  No.  So what is “normal?”  Getting back to “normal” means going backwards and that is not how life works.  Life is tied to time and both flow ever forward.  Getting back to “normal” is swimming upstream.  That is a battle, and once you get back upstream you have two choices:

  1. Keep fighting the current forever
  2. Get washed right back downstream

endorphinThis revelation (albeit obvious to some) is why I will never get back to “normal”…because I am moving forward.  For better or worse I am moving forward because I already know what is behind me and I can’t go back.  I can’t change it, fix it, relive it or go back to it.  I can go forward, and unlike the past I have some say in how things go moving forward.  I feel better.  I have less anxiety than I did a year ago and I don’t know how this will all play out but I’m in for the ride.  I knew all the things I’d never do again after that panic attack and I was wrong about all of them.  I can fly on planes, I can be in large crowds, I can leave my house, I can be a good father, and I am happy.  Sometimes I’m anxious…and that’s okay.

HighFallsGorgeOne year ago today my life changed.  For the better.  June 11th, 2012 is the day my body set off an alarm and told me I needed to start appreciating how good life is.  That was when I learned it is okay to be scared.  That was when I learned how great my family is, how amazing my marriage is, and how much I am not alone.  It is a day to celebrate.  It marks the beginning of the journey I am on and I am no longer looking for the end…I’m just traveling downstream and taking it as it comes.  I can’t go back.  I have an opportunity to make myself a better person along the way which I aim to try to do as my children look to me for guidance…and I to them.  If you are living with anxiety and fear you are not alone.  Please help me celebrate today by doing something positive outside your comfort zone and see where it takes you.  Say yes when you would normally say no.  Break up your routine a bit and see who you meet or what adventures (big or small) are ahead.  Life is out there!!!  It is awesome, scary, exhilarating, exhausting, amazing, dangerous, loving and everything you can and can’t imagine it to be.  Let’s live it.

Standing on a rock in the middle of a waterfall along Padanarum road in my hometown of Bolton Landing, NY.

Standing on a rock in the middle of a waterfall along the Padanarum road in my hometown of Bolton Landing, NY…where all streams lead to the lake:  Home.

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For more articles on anxiety please click HERE. Thanks for reading!

Anxiety…Where Have You Gone?

10 May
Hyperbole and a Half

© Hyperbole and a Half

While I cannot say that my anxiety has gone away…it certainly seems to have gone on holiday.  I have not wanted to talk about it, write about it, anything about it since I started noticing that I was feeling good since superstitious me presumes that by saying “I feel good,” I will then immediately feel bad.  So…just to test the water of superstition I am quickly going to say publicly that I feel good…and we’ll see what happens from there.  I still get anxious about certain things but the feeling of fear inside of me seems to suddenly come from a logical place.  I think it makes sense.  Actually, I think it is going to make sense when I look back on this time.  After last year I thought things would never be the same and that I would spend the rest of my life living with anxiety and depression.  I just wanted to feel “normal again,” like everyone else.  Now I think I am figuring out that I have had anxiety all my life and my panic attack last year was just a bad day that rattled me to my core.  It was a lifetime of things boiling over…the culmination of feelings from the past few years.  I don’t know.  All I know is for the past two months I have not been going to therapy and the world has not fallen apart.  For the past few weeks I still feel occasionally anxious, but I feel like it is connected to something and I have this feeling that things will be better.  Before, I wanted things to be better but didn’t believe they ever would.

Hyperbole and a Half

© Hyperbole and a Half

This week my wife Kate sent me a link to a blog I haven’t read in a long time and it made me feel so fantastic all over.  The site is called “Hyperbole and a Half” and the post is “Depression Part Two.”  Allie Brosh’s posts are phenomenal.  She uses her computer’s rudimentary “Paint” program to draw hilarious depictions of serious topics and writes from the heart.  Depression comes with anxiety and so it was with arms raised in the air that I read Allie’s post as if she had written this for me.  I think millions of people felt that way when they read her post…I just love that it came to me by way of my wife, because it was like Kate was saying “I get it now.”  We talk about life, depression, anxiety, fears, and so on with each other quite often.  This post…it just cut through and presented life as what it is for me at times.  Hilarious nothingness.

copyright Hyperbole and a Half

© Hyperbole and a Half

So today I would like to encourage my readers to head on over to Hyperbole and a Half to read about depression, and make sure you browse her site for fantastic entertainment and awesome items in the store that help support bloggers like us make a living.  Hopefully you will laugh as much as I did.  If it makes you sad, that’s okay too.  Life is funny and sad.

copyright Hyperbole and a Half

© Hyperbole and a Half

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